I have been thinking a lot lately about if I still want to make a career out of painting, or if I should just paint for my own pleasure, and sell the resulting art if someone feels called to welcome it in their home. It comes back to my latest blogpost about probably going back to school, even if it is over a 3-year full time period.
I am an intuitive person. After a decade of shutting down my Inner Voices and doing what I thought was the right things to do (meaning the things that were not bringing joy or excitement but that an adult should be doing anyway), I was fed up with how unfulfillment was inhabiting me. So it needed to change, I needed to go back to intuition guiding me. I will be honest: it was not easy. Shutting it for so long, it was not my normal anymore. But I got there by trusting I was a worthy person.
When I started my mixed media journey around 2008, I was so stressed out by messing everything up that I was planning every inch of my canvases, sketching before painting etc. 9 years later, I go with the flow. I start with a seed (it can be an intention, a word or a quote, a feeling I wish to convey) and see where it leads me. I believe that my paintings have a life of their own and that I am just the tool to bring them to life.
I am a Virgo, so I guess this all makes sense somehow (to me anyway). I am an intuitive planner (yes, I totally made that up). I need to know where I am going but to let it all come to me as well. Talk to me about being a living paradox…
One of the shift I want to focus on in the last months of this year is to get rid of all the “should”. I can’t keep up with them anymore, so it is time to say goodbyes, thank you for your service, hopefully we won’t meet again too soon :p
Do you, too, live in the land of Should ? What’s keeping you there ? I welcome any tip to help me out.
As a bonus for today, a video from one of my favorite singer:
There is only 1 -should- I am connected with now
And that’s the should of being me. Authentically me.
If going back to school is wholly and deeply you
Then hell yeah, you should do it!
Thank you ! I needed to hear this today.
I LOVE Pink! <3
Okay, so I wanted to comment in a deep way about your post, because I feel you on wanting to declutter the shoulds, but I have to share this! As I was scrolling and reading, my gorgeous 24 year old son stopped me because your picture so captivated him. "Wow, who's that! She's beautiful!"
Tuck that away for a rainy day. <3
I love Alecia Moore more and more. Now that she finally will have a new album out, it means she will be back on tour. I hope she will stop nearby because she’s on top of my MUST-SEE-LIVE artists list 😉
Thank your kiddo for me please <3
Okay I love P!nk, too. She is amazing and also on my list of “OMG I gotta see her live someday”. Perfect and Try are like my go-to songs when crap gets real for me.
I also live in the land of “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda”. There is always some thought of “I should be doing this” or “If only I would have or could have” done that. Such a frustrating place to live. I am ready to move from there. Listen to your intuition about going back to school. I would in a heart beat if they offered the courses I want to take locally.
It IS a frustrating place to stay. But I notice that as soon as I notice me being there, I can shift it. Although the feeling of wrong that it brings tends to linger… we can change the thought.
What courses would you like to take ?
P!nk is a.ma.zing. I told my daughters that mama is gonna be selfish and go see her live when I can, even if it means that I come first for once 😉
I want to take classes in Herbal healing or some Naturopath field. There are so many art classes I wish I could take. History, Literature. Yes some of them could be taken, but I have been discouraged from taking classes to go for a Liberal Arts degree. I don’t necessarily want to aim for a career, but I just love to learn. My one year in college was probably one of the best years I had especially after I switched tracks. Financially I cannot go to any class I might want to take. And then there is the issue of transportation. I would do distance learning, but I just think somethings are better learned in person like with herbalism. Maybe I am just putting my obstacles in my way. But at the same time I can’t help but think the opportunity will arise when it is time for me to take that step.
PS: did you see what P!nk told her daughter I think it was last week about her image and how she sees herself? Willow is one lucky girl to have such a powerful and amazing mother. I don’t think you would be selfish to go see her alone. I think it is brave and you deserve to come first.
I so relate to this post….some good friends of mine have often reminded me, “Stop shoulding all over yourself!”. Seriously, should is one of my least favorite words….YES to intuition and going with the flow……for me, daily meditation helps a ton….and No, I don’t meditate the way THEY say you SHOULD…..it can mean sitting quietly, focusing on my breath, listening to instrumental music, pulling oracle cards, listening to guided meditation on the insight timer app…….anything that helps me to feel centered……thanks for sharing!
Ahah I never succeeded in meditating the way they all tell us we SHOULD do it. My mind can not get quiet so what I do is I see my thoughts passing without focusing on any of them.
Thanks a lot for stopping by and commenting Leslie <3
Wow I so get this post! I love Pink’s song. I never heard it before but it’s so good and I wanna remember it. Yeah those pesky “shoulds” I try not to should all over myself but it isn’t easy. I love your drawings and so agree with following our intuition. You are inspirational, thank you for this post.