Inner Voices

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to nurture ?

It seems like an eternity since my last participation to Jamie's Wishcasting Wednesday... booohooo !

But this week prompt speaks to me, so I jump right into it !

I won't be original but I deeply need and feel like it's right now the time for me to nurture my Body, as in result it will also nurture my Soul. So I wish to nurture this body I chose before birth, to love it, to honour it.

Because as they say "your body is your temple". I use to think "bla, it's what people say because they don't know how hard it is to be in a body that absolutely do not reflect who you are inside".

It's so painful that it nearly breaks me into tears as I write you this stuff because I live a kind of not-so-peaceful war with my body for at least 8 years now. And I'm not even 25 years old.
I try to find keys to unlock why I look like what I do but... it does not change anything in the long term. Food is a problem, but I am certain that not only because even when I eat healthy food, modify what is wrong, I don't feel better for more than a few days.

BUT I know how lucky I am to have an husband that still loves me, no matter the changes my body knows (after two pregnancies, and a lot of yo-yo-ing in my weight), that still desires me (I don't understand why) etc. And it makes me feel a little bit better.

So one step at a time, I wish to nurture my body, to feed it really well, to exercise it, to lose weight so I'll fall in love with it all over again...


¤By the 4 winds¤ #2: PATHWAY

Here is the second theme for our project By the 4 Winds. If you want to know more about it, you can read my first blog post here.

First of all, I want to thank you for the enthousiasm regarding this brand new project, it's really encouraging ! I am happy to see that it inspires you to spend some time with your Journal and that some of you want to join us.

This week, the subject was more vague: PATHWAY.

Note: you can enlarge any image by clicking on it...

Here is the page created by Camille, who finally decided to make a blog for the occasion. But it's in French only, sorry. So don't be affraid to paste her link into google translate to read it in English. To know more about her process, it's right there.
Discover what Sofiah shares about this wonderful art journal page on her blog.
From this week, Aegiale is officially joining us in the project ! You can read about her journal page here.
And if you are interested to know what she done for our first theme, that was Healing, just go there.
I'm really really glad that Paola found some time to create this page in her journal. Here is what she has to say about it (translated in english from French by me):

I used a yellow Conté "carré pastel" to build the background. I wanted a radiant colour to illustrate the pathway of Life.
Really soon, the idea of the thread came. A sober thread that embodies my path from birth, teenagehood, and then early woman life guided by her father's hand who shows (or imposes ??) the way. This thread creates loops, the ones of Life. It is never straight, it becomes stronger as I become a mum, the father's hand is not there anymore (reality or will ?) and then, a biiig loop appears.
This one is represented by a rosace and depicts the rebirth. Since then, the thread changed ! It is now richer, by its texture, on purpose, to show a stronger and more intense way of life. The thread goes out of the page to show its length... in order to indicate that the pathway of life is long...
I didn't want to depict it's finiteness.
I chose to use Ganesh because I'm interested in Buddhisme. The small flowers show my well-being in countryside.
The big clock symbolizes the time that passes...
And last but not least, Bluetansy talks about her progression:
Regarding the "shape", the tree tronks and the background were made with ink (it's not red as it seems, but sepia; in reality the page is less "flashy"), the rest is made with acrylic paint.
For the "why", the light at th end of the road was obvious to me... Then, it was more blurry; I spent a lot of time at drawing and colouring the branches, that look like veins... Even if it's covered by the foliage.
The trees, the forest, are not threatening at all for me, it's the contrary: theyr are protective and benevolent.
I already depicted a pathway for the Healing page, they're strangely both quite straight despite the fact that my life path is far from being straight; is it a dream ? A will that everything goes straightly eventually ?
On the other hand, I started with a sepia pathway to something clearer, I hope it's a good sign ! lol
I didn't feel like writing anything on this page, only wanted a light pathway going toward the light in the serenity of trees. A need of calm, of simplicity.

My journal page is even simpler than the one I created for the Healing theme, and totally not realistic because of the fact that it's impossible to have a rainbow during night time...

At the early beginning, when I drew the theme "Pathway", I had the image of a cloud tunnel in grey tones, the pathway between our Living Word and what comes after we die. But nothing else, no message, nothing !

So it's with a blank mind that I sat down in front of my double page... Pathway... pathway... pathway. The clouds were still in my mind, so that's what I painted first: a cloudy night sky.
And then, the idea of the rainbow piercing the clouds. The rainbow is the pathway to my Dreams in the night sky symbolizing the blurry present moment: I don't know how to get from where I am now to my Dreams, but I know, deeply inside, that it will become clearer as long as I stay on the rainbow.
At last, I simply wrote "There is always a path to drive you were you are meant to be."

Feeling inspired by this week theme and you journaled about it ? Share it with us: simply enter your Name and URL in the box below:

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    Gratitude Friday June 11th 2010: Thank you Food !

    Hello Sweetie Peas !

    Here is a new week-end that is coming our way... and so a new week that is ending.

    This week, I want to celebrate another of my passion, that came in my life before Art but that is something creative too: cooking.

    I remember cooking with the women of my family: my mum of course, but also my grandma, my aunt(s)... Cooking for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. I wish I had pictures of me younger, cooking, on my computer to show you. Perched on a stool in front of the stove, stirring yummy meals I still love and share with my own daughters.

    In 2004,  I even thought of starting a career in the kitchen industry and started in France (where I am from) a year in cooking school. But you don't always get what you want, and I was forced to stop before graduating... I used to be bitter about it, but everything happens for a reason and I was able to nestle and raise my first daughter as I wanted, without long work hours in the restaurant kitchen, even if it was the best professional months in my life.

    But sometimes, I just lose my flame and don't want to cook, it becomes slowly a chore and I have no pleasure at all to be in my kitchen, even if it's to feed my family... it was like that for a few weeks. But this week... something shifted, without notice. I don't know what happened but I started cooking again and LOVED it. Really.

    I cooked cinnamon rolls, bagels, flameküeche, tofu stew, maki sushi (because my mum is here and she never tasted japanese cuisine, which is kind of one of my specialities), French style apple tart (the crust, the apple sauce... I made the entire tart) etc. Something new everyday, for each meal and even snacks ! WOW ! And I really enjoyed the process, the "hmmmmmm it's yummy".

    SO thank you food, thank you the pleasure to transform food into meals. Thank you for the fact that we have the chance to eat something everyday, something different, something we like, something we make. Thank you.


    ¤By The Four Winds¤ #1: HEALING

    Inspired by par Samantha Kira et Roben Marie's "Points of Two", I wanted to start a similar project on my own.

    And even if I know quite a lot of "Journaling" peeps, I asked on Twitter and Facebook for people who would be interested in joining me for this project. Finally, we are four:  Paola, Sofiah, Camille and myself.
    Camille does not want to blog about it for a time management reason, which I understand, so we'll share her art journal picture and a paragraph she writes about her process.

    Our objective is to create on our own, and then share what came from the common weekly theme. So you'll be able to read our blogposts every Tuesday. We call our project in French "Par 4 Chemins" and I call it in English "By the 4 winds".
    Absolutely no competition other than the one with our self: every week, working around a precise theme in our personal journal. The challenge for most of us (and I speak of you, too) is usually to Find and Take the time needed to create, no excuse for procrastination accepted.

    For this first week, the theme I randomly chose is... HEALING ! Theme that comes out right when it's the best, in my opinion.

    Here is what Sofiah created:

    You can read what she has to share about her process on her blog (it's in french but you can use Google Translate for example).

    What Camille created in her journal:
    And what she says about it:

    Because of the Healing theme, I wanted to create a Mandala. So I started from the center and went to the outside, in a colours shade. The journaling only came afterward. The Interior Flame is a subject close to my heart, I added it after too. I have no idea why the ground is up and the sky is came intuitively. I like the idea it's reversed, it made me think it's an universal subject... being a part of the Whole, no matter the side; the side is not important in a circle ^^
    Healing is an important subject for me, as I'm going toward a Personal Development path. It may explain the "YOURSELF".
    I really enjoyed creating this page with my beloved Neocolor II -that I know Nolwenn really love ^^-. It took me about 15 minutes to do, and doing a Mandala was soothing...

    I see Healing as a journey... it can have many many faces: physical, spiritual, personal. We all have wounds we want to heal, wether it's regarding health or emotions. But we ALL have this healing power waiting to be explored, right there within us. Trust me.
    It is one of the few things I am absolutely sure to be true.

    And Paola describes her approach:

    It's a subject I work on everyday in my "life journal" since a crab invited itself in my body, about a year ago. I am over with my treatments now, but I wanted to come back to this very hard period of my life, the one regarding chemotherapy. When you lose your hair, when your body seems to be bruised. I created the background with watercolour inks and blew in a straw to depict the blood system.

    I painted my body and my head totally naked. In my chest, something that looks like a doodle to symbolize my catheterer cable, the one the chemo went through. On my breast, I usually draw a crab but this time, to symbolize Healing, I put a bird.

    Esthetically, I'm not really pleased with the result, but I achieved the goal of this project: letting go the emotions from inside to the paper. All the things I shut my mouth about for months, all I hide, I brought it to the light with this journal page.

    Click to enlarge

    My page is really simple. I always associate Healing with a Hand, always. I didn't want the hand to be the center of attention in my page, just subtly there; that's is why I traced it and then highlighted with ligh black PanPastel on my colourful background. The red colour looks like blood, it's on purpose too.

    I am still on my Healing journey, it helps me to discover who I am and what powers lie in me. Because I know I have something to deal regarding Healing and I also feel that I have professionally something to do with it... I just have to discover exactly what it is.
    I plan to take some classes about the Therapeutic Touch Healing, for example, as soon as I have enough money for it. I have two books written by the well known Barbara Brennan (her books: Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field & Light Emerging: The Journey of Personal Healing); I wish she'd have a school on the North-West coast of the US or here in Vancouver.


    We have a guest this week: BlueTansy. She was interested in having an precise objective in order to create something regularly.

    So it's really surprising to see that in reality, the flashes of lighting and the journalings on blue background are almost invisible, fading in the colour... However, in reality the landscape seems less "ridiculous" as it gives a perspective effect.
    I started by drawing and cuting the ambulance, and then I took all my cut-outs in order to position them (to have an idea of the final aspect) and put them aside to paint the sun with acrylics and the sky with ink.
    Then, I glued my 2 elements and created the lightings with acrylic, and also the writings on the sky with a felt. The right part with the silhouettes came last. Until the last moment, I didn't know what to put at this place; it's also acrylic paint.
    I created it on A4 white Bristol paper.

    "Aller vers la lumière" (meaning "Going to the light") was my first feeling... Then the "Ne tirez pas sur l'ambulance" ("Don't shoot the ambulance")... And I think these silhouettes are the symbol of indifferent spectators meaning that we can only heal thanks to ourselves, but you have to be allowed to.

    See you next week with another theme :D


    Gratitude Friday, June 4th 2010: Thank You Mama


    Is there someone reading this ? How was your week ? I hope that, if it was like mine with ups and downs, doing this simple Gratitude Friday will brighten it up. It's when I do my Gratitude Friday while I had bad moments in my week that I realize how positive this thing is. It allows me to focus on what was good, where the Joy was and to put aside all the crankiness I can feel.

    I admit that I'm writing this blogpost on thursday... because Friday June 4th 2010 is circled in red on our calendars for months: my mum arrives from France !!! We didn't see each other since our expatriation in Vancouver on January 12 2009, almost a year and a half: too too long !

    So I want to dedicate this Gratitude Friday to the woman who gave birth to me, my Mamounette as I call her.

    Thank you for being my mum. My soul may have chosen you before to reincarnate and I'm beginning to see why you and not someone else. Thank you for showing me that a woman can be strong, you are a warrior.

    Thank you for the sacrifices you made for me to have a "normal" life despite the lack of a father in my life. As says the French Rapper Diam's (who's a woman, by the way): "it was as good without a father" and even if it was sometimes hard to deal with everyone question "have you been adopted" because we don't look like each other, even if sometimes I wished to have a "normal" family, it was good as it was and I am the woman I am now thanks to this.

    Thank you for ALWAYS supporting me, no matter what choice I make. You're my greatest support with Anthony and I know how precious it is to feel loved and trusted. Without it, I wouldn't trust myself at all. It sometimes hard for you to accept my choices but you're always there, you keep telling me to follow my Dreams before it's too late, because it's important to accomplish what your heart tells you.

    Thank you mamounette for loving me the way I am...

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