Inner Voices
9May/130

The breaths in between

I'm a Mom. Of two daughters, close in age. This is what we wanted and most of the time, we are thrilled that only 18 months seperate our daughters. But some days, I just want to throw my Mommy towel through the window and offer my kids to the first person who would like them (it's only an image, uh).

This is currently like this. We are Thursday, and it feels like this week has been a huge nightmare almost every minute I spent with the girls. Yelling (them. me.). Anger (them. me). Being pissed at each other. Not pleased with what is going on (still, them and me). Not knowing what to do anymore to make it better.

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Being a parent does not come with a step by step manual. I have been a Mom for almost 8 years now, and notice how it is still a Life adjustment. A slap in the face when it comes to what my ideas of a family was and what it really is on a daily basis.

I love my girls to death, and I do mean it (it's not an image, this time). My heart aches everytime they're going through a rough patch, and it sings with theirs at each of their success and step made.

What to do when you've already done everything that is inside your kids-in-crisis-i-can't-take-it-anymore emergency pocket ? Can't give up, being a parent is for life, it is a blessing, it is a miracle, it is a chance somehow, most of the time it is a choice made.

Sometimes, when I see other kids and other parents that seem to all be happy and the kids listen to their parents etc. I wonder if we are doing something wrong, thinking it has to be something my Husband and I are doing not quite like it should (what other reason could it possibly be than our fault ?). And then I discuss with my parents friends, who tell me not to be fooled, they do face challenges as a family as well, they learn along the way too, it is not all fluffy bunny despite the apparences.

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«Breathe», Original available

I am a teller and seeker of Truth(s). I don't want to portray what is not my reality. I know nothing is permanent. I do cherish every moment with my kids and family as I know it won't last forever. I cry. My heart breaks. I am grateful to witness such beautiful growth and lives blossoming, so so grateful for it.

This hard part of being a Mom is also part of the blessing, but I can only see it when I take some time to actually reflect on it.
I notice how when I feel down and in the blue, I have this urge to sketch, to let.it.out. Making art is my savior.

It forces me to breathe in between. To take even just one minute to stop, and take a step aside. Focusing on calming my mind. Thanking for all the good times, doing my best to bring it back to a better atmosphere.

I'm writing this to you, not knowing yet if I will dare clicking the «publish» button or not. I am writing this while with a heavy heart, feeling kind of lost.

I would love to engage conversation about it with you, you probably have an opinion about parenting, and art, and the hard parts of the job (even if you don't have kids). Let us be honest, it is okay not to be okay. It is okay not to be always happy with our children, or with how we react to their behavior(s). It does not make us horrible parents, we are just human beings learning ways to improve ourselves. Tell me, how do you do it ?

7May/130

How to connect with me

Hello beautifulz !

I wanted to write quickly about ways you have to connect with me. I know that, like me I guess, you may read this in your RSS reader without actually coming to the blog itself so you don't necessarily see my sidebar.

You may have heard that Google made the stupid decision to close Google Reader, it will be effective on July 1st this year and will arrive sooner than we think. Because of this change, I invite you to follow my blog via BlogLovin.
I chose BlogLovin because it was able to import all the blogs I follow with Google Reader. They also have an extension in Chrome so you are notified when you have new unread feed(s).
Simply click the button below to follow my blog there, so you won't miss any update:

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My shop, Inner Worlds, is on Etsy. You can find original paintings, prints in three different sizes and more soon:

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You can also connect with me on Facebook, where I share snapshots of what happens in the Studio, thoughts on my process and more: Inner Voices fanpage:

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There is, of course, Twitter:

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I love Instagram, you know how capturing memories is important to me and doing it visually is great. You can now even see my Instagram feed online:

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You can subscribe to my YouTube channel so you are notified when I publish a new video (usually once a week):

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I am changing it up a bit, I will send shorter but more frequent editions of my newsletter, Inner Whispers. You can subscribe to it here (and you can decide to join anytime by using the widget in my sidebar ---->):

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I really hope you'll engage with me somehow, I'd love to connect with you and discover who you are.

6May/132

I Feel It All | New Mixed Media painting video

This week video is one of those that brought struggle I could not find a fix for. I'm usually pretty good at pushing through when in my creative process I find myself in this place of «what to do next ?». I am immensely thankful for artist I learned from, in person or online, like Jesse Reno, Flora Bowley and Mindy Lacefield. They all taught me valuable lessons that changed everything.

I think this video will always remind me of the power of Connection. Connection with each other. Connection with our environment. Connection to the Source.

While I was filming, I stopped and snapped a picture to post on Instagram. And I felt the tingle to iMessage with Lynda to ask for her opinion. We've been classmates in several of  Mindy's classes for quite some time now, we were supposed to meet and be roommates in June but Life decided other way, and even if our style and paths are different, I know this is a good thing because she has a pair of eyes that would see things differently than mine.
She was very helpful and gently pushed me in the direction I was afraid to take in this painting. I work very intuitively, never knowing what my next step will be, just going with the flow. But once I meet that wall of Fear, it takes a lot to get rid of it. I am so happy I listened to her advices as it allowed me to do the right choices.

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As a starting point, I asked my Mom to pick one canvas and three colors for me to start with. She chose a square masonite type gessoboard, and the colors yellow+blue+green.

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This Sprixie and her Universe came to me easily. But I was too bold with the leaves I stenciled, they were eating everything around. Lynda suggested me to cover the entire background with a white glaze. ICK. Made nodes in my stomach just to thought of it. What if I would lose all my pretty layers ? I chose to go for it, but to diminish the failure possibilities I used Zinc white instead of Titanium one (Titanium white is opaque, Zinc white isn't).
It worked like magic, toned it done and even brought it all together for a more cohesive feel. Could not resist the alcohol ink drops, though.

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This left horn was the starting point of seeing this Sprixie emerge. If you look closely, it was that piece of scrapbook paper that I glued at the very beginning of the process.

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«I feel it all» is the title of a song by Feist that I really like. This Sprixie is a Spirit of the Forest, and she holds it close in her when everything seems to be falling apart. It has nothing to do with the actual lyrics of the song but it came to me, so I accepted it.

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Enjoy:

Here are the supplies I used for this painting:

3May/130

Gratitude Friday 05/03/2013

Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you'll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

Hello Hello !

Finally Friday... I hope all is well in your part of the World and that this general flu-ish virus that seems to be going on all over the planet left you alone. It is crazy how sick people have been since the beginning of the year and how long it takes to finally get back to «normal».

I am, as often in these moments, filling my heart with what is actually good and working, when everything else seems to fail. Gratitude is kind of my own savior (you know, so I can keep some sanity).

This week, I am thankful for:

  • Desserts made in my Multi-Délices yogurt maker (birthday present my Mom brought with her for me).
  • Skype with family.
  • Making art.
  • Creative experimentations.
  • Finally taking the plunge, working on something I've been wanting to do but was to afraid to get to it.
  • Walking again.
  • My girls trust and perseverence: they now know how to use their bike without their training wheels (and so... we can't stop them !).
  • My neighbors.
  • Music.
  • This chinese syrup I bought for cough etc.
  • Knowing I will succeed in my weight loss efforts.
  • Fresh homemade food (bread. yogurts. pizza. everything).

What's on your Gratitude List this week ?

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don't forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I'm notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):

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    2May/131

    Around the studio lately

    Hey ohhhh

    It's been almost a week now since I've been plagued with some health issues that kept me away from creating. But I am back, little by little. So I wanted to share with you what I've been working on lately :)

    A few years ago, my Mom created a scrapbook album for documenting Grenouille's first year. But we did not have one for Koala.
    So we decided to tackle both our computers to sort through all the photos we have, find the more significant, funny, beautiful ones and get going on making her album together.
    As you know though, I am not a scrapbooker. I use Project Life to do our memory keeping and simply love love love it. And trust me, it makes the process easy, hussle free but still fun and creative (or I would get bored...). I ordered the «Baby kit for her» and we are now almost done (I need to print some pregnancy prictures, do some research to complete some of the prompt cards and do all the journaling).

    Can't wait to see the finished project (and we are keeping it a secret from Koala, who has no idea for now. She keeps asking if she'll have a «baby album» too :D).

    I am participating in an ATC swap with some women from Mindy's class «True Free Spirit». I have always been intrigued by these small little piece of art and never dared finally trying. So this was the perfect moment to do it. Having fun starting them with my Gelli Plate and then continuing from there.

    Started filming a new {Painting In Motion} video. And when I finally had my juju flowing, my camera battery died on me ! how frustrating...
    Can't wait to see how it will turn out and share it with you,

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