Inner Voices
12Jun/130

When a new mantra forces its way in {It’s okay}

IMG_0131I believe in positive affirmations and how, coupled with concrete actions, they can change our lives. I've witnessed their power myself many many times and find it weird that I totally stopped for a while. Doubt is never too far I guess.

My heart feels so fulled, I feel like it is going to explode without warning at any moment.
During the retreat, I caught myself repeating again and again (either out loud or just thinking it)«It's okay».

It's okay to be here.
It's okay to be emotional.
It's okay to share.
It's okay to be myself (without any mask).
It's okay to be in that hotel room by myself.
It's okay to get out of my comfort zone.
It's okay to tell my Truths (in words, in paintings).
It's okay to revisit old emotions and old stories.
It's okay to cry.
It's okay to laugh out loud and giggle snort in public.
It's okay not to have the perfect straight hair I am longing for.
It's okay to love art supplies so much.
It's okay to create weird and unusual art.
It's okay to BE weird and unusual.
It's okay to stay silent for a while.
It's okay to be a living paradox.
It's okay to have a girlcrush on someone you feel connected to.
It's okay to live a wide ray of emotions, all in one day (or less).
It's okay to paint girls who have no mouth and not to explain how come they don't.
It's okay to say «I love you» to someone you just met (not talking about a guy, love my man too much to see somewhere else ;)).

Guilt tends to arrive very easily in my Life. But I am ready to let her go (I know she'll still visit me from time to time, but that's okay too).

I think that Acceptance may be one of the biggest lesson I have to learn in this current lifetime. I made lots of improvements on that front, but I am aware that there is still a long road ahead of me... and that's just okay to be in the in-between stage and stay there for some time. No rush.

11Jun/131

And in a snap, it was gone. After retreat re-entry.

I get it now. I do. When they talk about this few days following an creative retreat (or maybe even any kind of retreat).

The feeling of a buzzing heart.
The deep knowing of being understood, and heard.
The self-discovery in between in all.
The Love.
The connection.
The Oneness.

And now, back home with the everyday «normal» life, there is this readjustment needed. Not to say how very afraid I am to forget all the goodness Danielle, Mindy and Juliette shared with us.

The beginning...

The beginning...

Yesterday, I was talking with my friend Nancy (who I met thanks to Facebook and this retreat, before realizing we were litterally neighbors !) and was admitting that Truth: I was scared that my family would think I do not love them enough because of these emotions of being back home (nothing negative, though), I felt split between me missing them and me missing what was happening in Port Townsend, not knowing really how to simply do with it all inside of me, holding hands but not really. And today it is clearer: just take all the goodness in, and bring that into the big cauldron your heart is so it mixes together into one huge positive feeling. And it changed everything for me this morning...

(I think I will break my experience in Port Townsend in several blogposts, so it is not a huge one filled with words and images and... not very digest for you).

6Jun/130

Be open to the Unexpected

I'm writing you from my favorite spot in my hotel room here in Port Townsend, WA. It's almost time to really start my day and join the ladies for our first day of class.

I arrived yesterday afternoon after a few hours of car drive with my friend Nancy who also attends Sugar & Spice.

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I wanted to share that little mantra of mine, that popped in my head at night: be open to the unexpected.

Be open to the Unexpected
wonder of being surrounded by giant trees.
Be open to the Unexpected
joy of being yourself with a friend.
Be open to the Unexpected
memories, rushing back in my heart.
Be open to the Unexpected
feeling that you do belong here.
Be open to the Unexpected
Truth: you are worth it.

(Whatever your it is)

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5Jun/130

I’m off for an adventure !

Oh my ! Today is the day... I am leaving in a few hours to attend my first creative retreat, Sugar & Spice.
I'm tagging along Nancy, who found me a few months ago via the Facebook page of the event... We discovered we actually live two blocks apart from each other (talk to me about crazy coincidences). We will drive all the way across the border and even take the ferry (another first for me).
A good thing: she knows PT very well as she attended Atrfest several times.

It will be weird to be on my own at night (next time, I hope Lynda will be my roommate ;D).

My daughters told me they don't really want me to go (Grenouille is crying this morning. Breaking my heart), but I know they will do well with their dad and my Mom.
Cheridoo will join me at the end of the week so we will have some time in the morning to be together before going back home.

I will only have my iPad until my husband arrives, and it doesn't have 3G, so i will do my best to document.
I want to experience it to the fullest.

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I'm so excited to finally meet Mindy, Danielle and Juliette. People, everything happens when ripe. (Another Truthism).

Excitement.
Nervousness.
Sense of purpose.

As Bilbo the hobbit, I am going on an adventure !

Psss: This little guy was hidden in my suitcase by my husband (long story short, he used to put some of his fragrance on one for me when we started dating).

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27May/132

Let them bloom, my Lotus paintings series

I would have a lot to say about this new series that I simply titled «Let Them Bloom».

The desire to work with the symbol of the Lotus began when one invited itself on my canvas. It was November 2011, in the beautiful Artfest Annex of Teesha & Tracy Moore in Seattle. I was there to attend Flora Bowley’s workshop.

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The drop magically became a Lotus. I did not see it coming. And you know what ? two of the four paintings below started as a drop first and I did not link it until right now, while writing you this. Funny. (my playlist is playing «Let the rain» by Sara Bareille… which is the title of a painting I created at the same time as the serie. thank you Universe for the synchronicity here).

I loved going out of my comfort zone. I was in the workshop with a totally open heart and mind, and no expectations. I left totally changed by Flora & Teesha's beautiful Souls and their strong will to help people find themselves via art. I didn’t plan it. It was both a struggle and a pleasure to work on this painting (you can read more about it in this blogpost). When I came back home, I knew I wanted to explore more of it, to dig the symbolism and meaning of the Lotus in order to learn more than I already knew.

Collage created using TurboCollage for Windows from www.TurboCollage.com

My Gratitude tattoo is a Lotus flowers with 5 stars. Even if planned in advance, Life decided that I got inked a short few days after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. No coincidence (I don’t believe in them).

This series is titled «Let Them Bloom» because it took me a year and a half to have them appear on my studio table. I did try to push, to pull them out from my backgrounds. How many times did I start a painting session with the burning desire to paint a Lotus… But they always ended up as something else. The Lotus did not want to emerge. Maybe it was not time for them yet; maybe I was not ready for them yet.

I know more will come, I can just feel it. But these four taught me something very valuable for anything in my life: let it come. When the time will be right, it will appear in your life. If not, it was not meant to be.

Click each image to be redirected to its listing in the shop (so you’ll have more infos about what’s behind it):

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