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It’s been quite some time since I last shared with you what’s rocking my universe right now. And you know my love for discovering new-to-me anything.
I currently work two days a week so I have 5 days at home with the entire family (my daughters are on summer break for another full month and my husband is able to work remotely). I have been spending a lot of time watching Netflix (#sorrynotsorry) with my almost 15yo daughter Mae. I have been reading as well but not as much as I used to (thank you Goodreads for reminding me that I am about 6 books behind schedule for my 2020 reading goal)

…Watching…

• Never Have I ever. Absolutely devoured it. I loved the inclusion of characters of colour and their culture. And it’s been renewed for a second season so YAAAAAY
• Grey’s Anatomy. Okay, technically for me this is a re-watch as I have been watching this show for the past 15 years and it’s one that’s dear to me for several reasons. We also discovered Doctor Mike on Youtube, which is a great addition 😉 I love medical dramas, so, yea…
• Bailey Sarian’s “Mystery & Makeup” on Youtube. This girl is AMAZING. Honestly, the contrast between the gruesome true crimes she talks about and the stunning make up she is doing while telling us all these stories? I love her!!! Yes, she’s a new obsession. Let me be 😉
• Students’ organisation videos and vlogs, still on Youtube. Because I am fucking nervous about going back to school for 4 semesters and this makes me feel like I will have a better idea about what it will be like (I do know that of course, I know nothing).

… Listening to…

• Halsey. Forever and Always. I love her music since I discovered her with New Americana. I love the woman. She’s my wife (okay… I am ten years older than her but who cares?) ahah
• H.E.R. She brings me back to the music I loved when I was a teenager. Soulful, R&B, makes me wanna dance type of music. One that makes me feel like I belong to something.
• Taylor Swift‘s new surprise album, “Folklore“. I kind of started really liking her music five years ago, when I took my daughter to her concert in Vancouver, BC. You hate her or you love her, but there is something about how she tells stories through her music that makes me feel things. So yes, I waited for midnight to have a 2-person listening party with Mae 😉

…Enjoying…

• Vegetarian meals, mostly. We are trying to reduce our consumption of animal products as much as possible.
• Long walks in our neighbourhood. With our without our dog. I try to step up my walking goals on my Fitbit 😉 I need to go back to working out but my arm still hurts and I tend to go to an extreme or another so taking it slow.
• Looking for homes in our former city across the country. It’s a bit (a lot?) masochistic but eh… it brings hope.
• The perspective of getting rid of about 75% of our belongings. Freeing physical space as well as mental space… It’s crazy how much we gather to feel better or because we think we will need/love it. But it ends up stacked somewhere, unused and unloved… I will be taking care of my art studio but still don’t know what to do with all these supplies I don’t use/care for. Ideas?

PS: you can read my post “Currently” article following this link 😉

Some videos are harder to create and even harder to share than others. For me, this is one of them. Sharing about me, about bits and pieces of my stories as a bi-racial woman of colour is not something I talk about easily or often. But with what’s currently going on in the World, I felt awful not to address it at all. Because… sometimes, silence is compliance, right?

Here’s the video:

I have been working on this for quite a long time. It took more than a month from the moment I knew I had to do something to the moment I completed the page. Yup… I had to make my voice heart. Even just for me, because crying every day helps, but not for long.

If you follow me on Instagram, you might remember me posting a sketch of the drawing at the beginning of June. Then, it took me two weeks to actually stop avoiding going further in the project and paint it… Because when your heart is aching so bad, it does not matter if you know what you need to do. It just seems impossible. And I accept that today: the need for time to process emotions and thoughts.

I am bi-racial and am myself in a bi-racial marriage. I am a woman of colour and my husband is White, which resulted in a funny blend when it comes to our daughters’ skin tones (I have shared pictures of them in the video). All my life, I have been told stuff that left me without a sense of belonging, without that deep knowledge of being enough. Too white, too black, not enough of anything. This leaves scars and wounds I am now tending as an almost 35 years old.
Before you speak, always wonder “could this hurtful?” because words can destroy more than a punch in the guts…