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I like to see how far I can stretch techniques. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much but at least I keep playing around and learning from all of it.

Today, I am sharing a new project as part of ColourArte‘s Design Team. I wanted to see if my Munny, a vinyl figurine bought eons ago, would accept an acrylic pour and what I could do with it.

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I chose to do two different dirty pours (when you create layers of prepared colors into one same cup before pouring it): one for the body and another for the head. Too ambitious ? Maybe. But I did it anyway 😀
Because I had an intent in mind (marrying the Earth and the Sky), I picked three different browns for the body and three different blues for the head. White was the “linking” colour.

One mistake was to forget that the paint consistency needed for a dirty pour is indeed different than the one for a puddle pour. So my paints were a bit too thin. It turned out not bad, but I had high expectations for this (good thing is I have other Munnies waiting to be painted, as I used to be a hoarder).

What is the most unexpected surface you ever chose to paint on ? I am curious to see how far we can go with that idea that we can work on anything.

PRODUCTS USED:

• Primary Elements Pigments – DESERT CLAY
• Primary Elements Pigments – SCARAB BEETLE
• Primary Elements Pigments – CEDAR WOOD
• Primary Elements Pigments – STARGAZER
• Primary Elements Pigments – NORTHERN LIGHTS
• Primary Elements Pigments – TWILIGHT
• White acrylic paint
• Pouring medium
• Water
• Vinyl figurine

Close-up photos:

Happy Sunday morning !

I was not planning on sharing anything on the blog today but I just got answers to a burning question. And thought that maybe I was not the only one…

Why don’t you make art everyday like you used to ?

I kept this tucked in my art for over a year now, trying to figure it out. I am all about analyzing, deep thinking, intuitive journaling; but I just could not hear the answers until today.

Making art takes physical space. Admittedly, over the years, I started painting on bigger surfaces, accumulating journals after journals, and it is all still here. I have a small spare room in our new house filled with artwork. A lot of my favorite art is over our walls (almost every room has paintings I have made, yes the washrooms too). I am sad to see all these canvases in a dark room, in boxes, without receiving the love I think they should… And this sadness penetrated me to the core, subconsciously, keeping me from telling my stories. It feels as if the paintings are not fulfilling their original purpose. The hopes I have for them when I bring them to life.

I used to make art that made me happy but that I wanted to sell. Selling was never essentially about making money but about bringing joy and power to the new owners of my art. Not selling meant the pieces were staying in my home. As a consequence, I guess I felt invaded by all of these Nixies.

For months, I did not go into my Studio. Not that I did not want to create anything, but I knew it would not be going anywhere and decided it was not worth it. All the stories are buried in my heart, building up, but not coming out. I am starting to make art again, for the joy of creative explorations, but find it hard still to just have the finished pieces stand here in my home…

Now that I know the cause, I need to figure out how to fix it. Any suggestions ?

This is something most of us have trouble with. Dare. Dare saying “no, thank you“. Dare spending time alone. Dare go to all the places your heart feels called to explore (even if it means moving in a foreign country where you know no one).

I am sick of showing to the world versions of my Self that are untrue to my Essence. It is exhausting to be someone you know you are not, or not fully. So when your Soul says, loudly “no more bullshit. be true to you. stop hiding” you don’t have much choice than to obey the Inner Voice.

This is gradual in my life though. I got a tattoo at 16 (after two years of working it and talking about it all.the.time to my mom, who was against it. She went with me. And is still against all my tattoos), a nose piercing. Recently I finally got boxed braids with blue and purple. I now speak my Truths more easily.

In my creativity, it meant I needed to stop painting what I thought people would expect to see from me.

See, I am a pretty quirky and weird person once you know me. I am totally okay with it, but always afraid of being judged for it. My spirituality transpires in everything coming out of me. It is sometimes obvious, sometimes more subtle. Last year, when I began my 365 Nixies in 2016 project, I just let them come as they were; not judging the character, their features or their stories/messages. Most of them are odd but gosh, how I love them ! (psss: they are still looking for new homes).

Life taught me that it is way too short to walk its path in somebody else’s shoes. Mine sometimes feel too small, or too big, but they are mine nonetheless.

What are you doing to stay true to yourself ? It does not have to be big, like respecting your own boundaries for example. I celebrate all those steps you are taking to live the life you are meant to live.

It’s been a few years already since I decided I wanted to Heal my Wounds. Those of the Heart & those of the Soul. Those I made to myself and those people inflicted on me.

These last ones are maybe the tougher because they ask for an action of somebody other of myself. At least, it is the case for me, because I need to understand what happened in order to accept and then go on.

The major issue is that 9 times out of 10, those people are not even in our circle anymore… So the work takes much more time than it could, and because I am aware that we should not base anything on suppositions and “IFs” it sometimes seems impossible.

And then… PSCHHH these persons come back one day, and you don’t know neither why nor how. You can then decide: welcome them, or reject them.

It’s while I was talking to one of these persons that I finally knew something I carried for too long in me: why am I seen as a fragile breakable girl that needs to be protected. And realized other persons felt that way about me as well.

Creating is what helps me release the pain. It does not completely heal the trauma (I guess I should see a therapist for that) but it helps a great deal. Art is a safe space to explore the tensions so I can set them free.

And creativity can be anything, really, for me it can take the form of free writing (dumping every.single.thing that’s on my mind in a journal. I still do it pen on paper, even though my brain usually goes way too fast for my hand to follow). It can pour it out onto a canvas, building up secret messages under layers and layers of paint. Or playing with colors in my art journals, hiding symbols and thoughts.

This is how I have faith in my future. Because I survived my demons and because I am conquering my fears.

How do you face your demons ?

Something I find really difficult to come up with is an artist bio. I am always wondering why the fuck would somebody be interested in who I am and in what I do.
However, I love lists (like… crazy), this is why I found it easier to describe myself in a list of things than actual boring paragraphs.

For a long time, I thought that art was just an escape route for me. Some place safer than my own mind, pouring everything in a painting, in a journal or whatever form it decided to take on a specific moment in my life. But the years are passing and art is becoming more than that.

I want and need to focus on the positive side of having a creative mind.

So there we go, my always in-progress Artist Credo:

I believe in the power of creativity itself.
I believe art can help us heal the deepest oldest wounds.
I believe we all have a creative voice, no matter how it decides to express itself.
I believe we don’t have to share anything we create if we don’t want to.
I believe artists should pull each other up instead of feeling competitive.
I believe creativity has many faces.
I believe we can be original and quirky, because I believe art is a safe place.
I believe in all the possibilities art offers.
I believe in hidden symbols and stories.
I believe in the power given by creativity.
I believe in all that art convey and the subjectivity of it.
I believe in experimentation.
I believe in never-ending inspiration, coming from everywhere.
I believe we can re-invent ourselves through art.
I believe in the cracks, the hurt, the open wounds we pour into our art form.