Stamping letter by letter has something kinda meditative.
I needed to calm my mind so it was the perfect technique yesterday, after what was maybe one of the mat stressful day of our life.
This is a question that comes a lot to me lately. It has always popped now and then but it’s been in the back of my mind for a while now so I guess it’s time for me to acknowledge it and dig (I usually proceed this way ;)).
Am I what I paint ?
Am I what I create?
Am I what I think?
Am I what I feel ?
I don’t think I hold the answer yet because sometimes it bends toward a “of course I am what I create” and others I absolutely want the answer to be a “no”.
There is a part of me in every single thing that comes from me, and this is obvious. I used to be a very pessimistic teen/young adult; always seeing what could go wrong first and focusing on that instead of trying to shift it. It is who I was and I don’t deny it. It occasionally still shows through my art in my journals.
My universe is filled with strange creatures and characters having a life of their own. Tim Burton captures very well what it looks like in my mind most of the time. But my Universe is also filled with colors and shapes and symbols that are way brighter.
Paradoxical ? Of course. I guess it’s not a coincidence I was born under the astral sign of the Virgo, which is a very double-sided sign.
Sometimes, I am doing something and suddenly I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach and can’t breathe anymore, and all the negativity I felt in my past comes back in, in a rush. And it hurts like Hell. All the fears and worries I constantly push away decide to hit me in the face. Journaling and painting helps me to make it go away.
I used to fight this darker side of me until I realized it was totally vain and that the best solution was to accept it (yes, it all goes back to acceptance again). Creativity is the only way I found to be helpful, even on the long term.
This blogpost makes no sense and I apologize for this. I guess I just have to work this through and thought sharing it with you might help. Please, feel free to tell me what you think.
Are you totally dettached from what you create ? Do you think you are what you paint and you paint what you are ?
My art journal is getting some love again.
I notice how my process and what I create in my journal changed over time.
I feel Luke i am more into simple pages. More meaningful.
I created this page with very few supplies: Lindy Stamp Gang’s Starburts Sprays, alphabet stickers and book pages. stamped tissue paper.That’s it.
In 2011, I decided to completly accept that I am an artist and once this was triggered in my heart, there was no way back possible.
I am not an artiste because I opened an Etsy shop to try to sell some of my work, but because I knew I simply was a creator.
Creative when I cook for me and my family.
Creative when I write just not to forget. just to get it OUT.
Creative when I let go all of my fears in the pages of my art journals.
Creative when I put paint on canvas/wood/whatever and see a face appear, and hear the Nixie telling me her story, her message.
…
What is being an artist, really ? What does it mean for you ? I am pretty sure we all have different visions of it. And this is something I love because it is so personal and yet so universal at the same time.
When I look at my daughters (currently 5 and 6½) drawing, doodling, scribbling, dancing, singing, inventing poems and songs about their daily life and their «right now», I am purely in awe. It comes naturally, they never second-guess themselves. They just are creative, because we all are until we let doubt and comparison and self-destructive thoughts take over it. I wish for them to last forever and ever.
Every single day, I commit to creativity. In any form.
Painting makes me happy. Keeps me sane. And makes me kinda go out of my body for a while. So I just keep doing it, day after day.
Cooking is also central in my life.
No matter how in pain my body is, how tired I feel, how loud my mind screams not to do anything, I have to listen to my Inner Voice and make something. Just a little thing sometimes. It is enough.
There are phases when I don’t wanna do anything, it happens and I go with it. Trying not to make it last too long though because once I let it go, it is harder to come back to it. And I have to come back to it, to listen to the calling.
I don’t blog as much as I would like to, because I prefer now to be in my «real life», but I try to share a lot via flickR and facebook. So head over there to keep in touch, I would love to learn to know you 🙂
Sneak peak at my three latest Nixies. I will soon share their stories:
