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It’s been quite some time since I last shared with you what’s rocking my universe right now. And you know my love for discovering new-to-me anything.
I currently work two days a week so I have 5 days at home with the entire family (my daughters are on summer break for another full month and my husband is able to work remotely). I have been spending a lot of time watching Netflix (#sorrynotsorry) with my almost 15yo daughter Mae. I have been reading as well but not as much as I used to (thank you Goodreads for reminding me that I am about 6 books behind schedule for my 2020 reading goal)

…Watching…

• Never Have I ever. Absolutely devoured it. I loved the inclusion of characters of colour and their culture. And it’s been renewed for a second season so YAAAAAY
• Grey’s Anatomy. Okay, technically for me this is a re-watch as I have been watching this show for the past 15 years and it’s one that’s dear to me for several reasons. We also discovered Doctor Mike on Youtube, which is a great addition 😉 I love medical dramas, so, yea…
• Bailey Sarian’s “Mystery & Makeup” on Youtube. This girl is AMAZING. Honestly, the contrast between the gruesome true crimes she talks about and the stunning make up she is doing while telling us all these stories? I love her!!! Yes, she’s a new obsession. Let me be 😉
• Students’ organisation videos and vlogs, still on Youtube. Because I am fucking nervous about going back to school for 4 semesters and this makes me feel like I will have a better idea about what it will be like (I do know that of course, I know nothing).

… Listening to…

• Halsey. Forever and Always. I love her music since I discovered her with New Americana. I love the woman. She’s my wife (okay… I am ten years older than her but who cares?) ahah
• H.E.R. She brings me back to the music I loved when I was a teenager. Soulful, R&B, makes me wanna dance type of music. One that makes me feel like I belong to something.
• Taylor Swift‘s new surprise album, “Folklore“. I kind of started really liking her music five years ago, when I took my daughter to her concert in Vancouver, BC. You hate her or you love her, but there is something about how she tells stories through her music that makes me feel things. So yes, I waited for midnight to have a 2-person listening party with Mae 😉

…Enjoying…

• Vegetarian meals, mostly. We are trying to reduce our consumption of animal products as much as possible.
• Long walks in our neighbourhood. With our without our dog. I try to step up my walking goals on my Fitbit 😉 I need to go back to working out but my arm still hurts and I tend to go to an extreme or another so taking it slow.
• Looking for homes in our former city across the country. It’s a bit (a lot?) masochistic but eh… it brings hope.
• The perspective of getting rid of about 75% of our belongings. Freeing physical space as well as mental space… It’s crazy how much we gather to feel better or because we think we will need/love it. But it ends up stacked somewhere, unused and unloved… I will be taking care of my art studio but still don’t know what to do with all these supplies I don’t use/care for. Ideas?

PS: you can read my post “Currently” article following this link 😉

Some videos are harder to create and even harder to share than others. For me, this is one of them. Sharing about me, about bits and pieces of my stories as a bi-racial woman of colour is not something I talk about easily or often. But with what’s currently going on in the World, I felt awful not to address it at all. Because… sometimes, silence is compliance, right?

Here’s the video:

I have been working on this for quite a long time. It took more than a month from the moment I knew I had to do something to the moment I completed the page. Yup… I had to make my voice heart. Even just for me, because crying every day helps, but not for long.

If you follow me on Instagram, you might remember me posting a sketch of the drawing at the beginning of June. Then, it took me two weeks to actually stop avoiding going further in the project and paint it… Because when your heart is aching so bad, it does not matter if you know what you need to do. It just seems impossible. And I accept that today: the need for time to process emotions and thoughts.

I am bi-racial and am myself in a bi-racial marriage. I am a woman of colour and my husband is White, which resulted in a funny blend when it comes to our daughters’ skin tones (I have shared pictures of them in the video). All my life, I have been told stuff that left me without a sense of belonging, without that deep knowledge of being enough. Too white, too black, not enough of anything. This leaves scars and wounds I am now tending as an almost 35 years old.
Before you speak, always wonder “could this hurtful?” because words can destroy more than a punch in the guts…

During this strange time we are currently experiencing, it is easy for anxiety to take over. However, I decided to do my best to deal with it as much as possible.
I noticed very recently that even though my head does not scream “you are anxious/stressed out”, my body is taking a big stroll. As if it decided to act up. You know, just so I would notice there was a lot of built-up negativity I was unaware of. And trust me: that sucks, big time!

As I say in the video, this project was a win-win for me: sending joy around the world (my cards went to Ireland, France, Canada and the US). But it was also kind of a selfish project… getting my groove back, getting outside of my own mind for a bit.

You can see in the picture below the other set of Mail art cards I created afterwards. I really really love how they turned out. The use of the amazing Dina Wakley’s Collage words for the sentiments changed everything, and they truly made all the difference. I wish I had recorded the process for making them as well, but eh… it’s okay I did not.

I am thinking of creating a small free online journal class: would you be interested?

• Canson Paper | https://amzn.to/2LfbqOr
• Gesso | https://amzn.to/2yBf4Qa
• Old Maps stencil | https://bit.ly/3dytvDq
• Cross stencil | https://etsy.me/3cnZaHe
• Acrylic Paint | https://amzn.to/2SOJ01N
• Catalyst tool | https://amzn.to/2WiDkzg
• Zibu Symbols book | https://amzn.to/2WKpm8q
• Embossing Powders | https://amzn.to/3clhOQd
• Embossing pen | https://amzn.to/2YPqZVa
• Lindy’s Sprays | https://amzn.to/2SRcZ9n

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Today marks day 50 of official quarantine for us in Québec.
A little background: I live with my husband and our two teenage daughters (one is 13 and the other one will turn 15 in August); they go to two different schools because different programs so we need to deal with that even more now than in regular times. They fight a lot. One hates school and forces me to be the bad cop of the story. The other has been outside our home once in the past five weeks because she is too scared. My husband works from home, which is something I missed a lot since he started his new job last year. I work as a food prep in a sushi shop located in a supermarket nearby: my job is considered essential so I continue to go there 3-4 times a week even though my hours have been cut from the usual.

How are you personally coping with the anxiety surrounding the pandemic?

1. Reading. A lot, actually… I have two public libraries where I usually go to, one in our hometown and the other in downtown Montréal. Of course, both are currently closed and I am now reading all the books that were in our house, abandoned. But I am very happy to also have the possibility to borrow e-books via my Kindle Unlimited subscription (you can borrow up to ten books at the same time). I read both paper books and on my iPad. It gives me an escape of sorts.
2. Expressing daily gratitude. I don’t necessarily write it down but I make it a practice I do my best to stick to. Plus, I am a list maker. Even if it means mentally listing 3 or 5 things that bring some positive in my life that day. Being grateful is not ignoring things that are hurtful, but looking for things to appreciate. I am not putting my head in the sand (far from that).
3. Making any type of creative activity. It’s hard for me to step into my Studio and do something, I won’t lie. I do try, but often go back upstairs having done nothing in there… So I find other ways to be creative: I cook from scratch for example. Cooking has always been my number one passion but I am even more in the kitchen now than pre-quarantine. Making our own break, baking at midnight with my daughter because neither of us can properly sleep.
4. Learning something. I am revisiting classes I signed up for but done little to nothing about. I watch Youtube videos about subjects that intrigue me. I love learning, I talk with my BFF who is back at the university in France to study psychology so she shares some of the stuff I actually left behind 17 years ago.
5. Spending quality times to loved ones. My daughters have a hard time following a proper sleep schedule: they sleep around 3 am and wake up way too late after. I spend almost every day with Mae; we play together on the Switch, we cook, we sometimes workout together… she is the scared one and refuses to leave the house even just for a walk.

►►► Wondering: would you like a “Day in the life” type of vlog in the near future?

Already one-fourth of 2020 has passed.
The world is going crazy right now because of this pandemic happening. It is a struggle to stay sane when suffering from anxiety, to begin with.

I am trying a new way of making my videos and would love your input. Do you like it when I incorporate something else than just the sped-up painting? I love this new version but I need to know if it is something you enjoy watching as well 😉

If you enjoyed this, please share on your social media with your friends and subscribe to my channel. If you click on the little bell, Youtube will tell you when I publish a new video so you won’t miss anything. I truly appreciate that.