Archives

1. Literally feeling like I have a fire within, burning my bones and articulations. This is what fibromyalgia is like, most of the time; especially when in a flare-up. I use my arms a lot in my day job (and welcome back biceps!) so my shoulder blade and elbow are currently in flames… It’s not going away, even though my husband massages me with a specific oil every night. Maybe I need to accept that this will be my new normal?
2. I love riding my bike to work. It only takes me about 10 minutes to go from home to work and I will miss it once the weather becomes the yuck it is in the Fall (rain) and the winter (snow and ice). Bonus points to the fact that my butt is becoming quite nice looking and that it builds muscles in my legs.
3. I miss spending time with my husband. He leaves for work before 7 am in the morning, and I am home around 7 pm at night. I don’t have real weekends either so we actually are lucky if we have one full day out of seven together.
4. Art Journaling saves my sanity. So does my diary. Putting the feelings outside of my head is essential to my mental health. I know I should find a therapist but with my work schedule, I don’t even know when I could go… Maybe it will be easier once I have a small car, too. Maybe.
5. I am relieved that my anxiety level finally decided to go back to almost normal. It was out of control for 3 weeks and I thought that it would just be another “new normal”.
6. I’ve been eyeing “Fresh Paint” for a while, it’s an online class by Flora Bowley & Lynzee Lynx. I took an in-person workshop with Flora years ago, at Teesha Moore’s then Seattle Studio and it changed my perspective on my creative process. I’d love to learn from her again. But it’s like a big chunk of a week’s worth of my current salary 🙁
7. Makeup and Sacred Adornments are a big part of my identity. However, as I work in the food industry, the rule is no makeup, no piercings on the face, no jewelry… I feel like this is another version of myself and I don’t like it, at all… I don’t like how I look at my job. It’s not me.
8. Grief is a bitch and it’s not always about a person. I need to grief art as my career and it hurts like hell to accept my huge failure. I still believe that I could bring something to people’s lives with my art but I never “made it”. Therefore, my heart is shattered that I need to get a day job to pay our bills and debts instead of working from home as an artist. Right now, I would much rather work 12 hours a day as an artist, but it’s not happening. I am grateful for my current job position though, don’t get me wrong.

The day job

Mid-June, I found myself a day job. I help to make food in a sushi/Thai comptoir (friends, help… don’t know what it’s called in english) inside one of our local supermarket. I gave my resume even though he was not hiring at the time (I missed my spot in the previous months, as he had just hired someone). It seems like the perfect job for me: it arrived a few hours after I prayed to the Universe to provide with a job that would be a bike ride away from home.

I got my driver’s license last November (2018) but I have not really driven since… We own a Grand Caravan (WTF) and I find it hard to park… I don’t know yet how I will do once Summer is gone and that rain/snow will make it impossible for me to use my bike to work. Maybe find a small car in leasing?
I am in an industry I like, but the job is hard on my fibro. I am 8+ hours standing every day, at least 5 days a week. My boss is really nice, so it helps but I don’t want him to know (yet?), afraid of being misjudged.

My creative path

I have less time for my creativity, that’s a truth. I come back home around 7 pm and don’t have a regular weekend of rest. My schedule is still a work in progress so I have to kind of force the time spent in my Studio.

However, there’s a good side to this: the time I spend in my Art Cave is even more precious. I put a lot into what I go in for. More than before. I still don’t really plan my art sessions though. I just want to make it impactful in my life.
When I am away from it, I think about what I’d like to create, but can’t. There is a sense of frustration building…
It’s like I failed after trying so hard for so long to share my passion with the world and make a living out of it. Working from home again is a goal I still have my eyes on. So I keep the art as a “side hustle” and will market my ass off to make it happen.

Family life

I don’t work 70+ hours a week, and it’s Summer Break until the end of August for both my daughters. It’s weird to know they are home alone most days. Especially when my days off are still wonky…
I miss spending more time with them, and with my husband. He leaves for work before 7 am every day, and I come back home at 7 pm every day… Exhausted.
How do I make it a time of quality?
I persist in that job partly because I want my daughters to be proud of their Mom. I know they say are already proud, but I was the Mom who was home for the past decade.

I have been eyeing the Citrus Book Bindery website for months before giving in and ordering a notebook.
These are handmade journals and the variety is absolutely astonishing. However, what made me jump was the fact that there is a “build your own” option.
Thanks to lovely people who used my tip jar, I was able to pick a traveller’s notebook. They have plenty of sizes available, I picked the “field book” size. You can see in the video it that it’s a nice small size, it fits well in the hand. I took it with me on vacations and it fit my art pouch perfectly!

Building my journal

First, I picked a design for it. I went with a night sky blue and moon design because it’s what spoke to me at the time. It’s very beautiful and the details are astonishing.
You even have the choice in the stitch binding you’d like. I went for the “burst” one and it’s beautiful.
I could have just ordered the “skeleton” but because I do not have this size of journal, I added a set of four notebooks.
There again: many many options to choose from. It’s really a “build your own”. You’ll see what I picked in the video

As a final note

I am very very happy with my order and already added in my wishlist a lay-flat journal.
It would also make a beautiful thoughtful gift.

I love reading books about characters that are different than I am but that tackles some that are close to me.
My 12yo daughter came out to me when she was 9. It was absolutely no surprise and for a while, she wondered if she actually was transgender. It was a rough patch in her life (and ours by association) but she is feeling way better in her skin today. She accepted that you don’t have to fit a mold or to be assigned labels to be okay. It’s not easy, even for us adults. She know identifies as fluid and that she will love who she will love, boy or girl with no difference.

June is Pride Month. So this year, I wanted to focus my reading on LGBTQ+ characters. Here are a few of my favorites.

---

Ramona Blue | Julie Murphy

I read this book in the car, coming home from vacation, and finished it the next day.
I was kinda mad at Ramona for a big portion of the book, even though I understood her choices and where she was coming from.
Knowing who you are from a young age is something my daughter can relate to. Being known as the very tall gay kid with blue hair, but then being torn in another direction could happen to anyone (not the tall with blue hair but you get my point). That feeling of betrayal for wanting more for your life, too.
I really liked this book and don’t regret actually buying it.

---

Girl mans up | M-E Girard

First of all, I adore this book cover… Pen looks really badass and I love that; it is exactly how I imagined her while reading her story.
I was really frustrated regarding Pen and her relationship with Colby, her best friend. Loyalty can really be a place for a shithole “I say so, so just shut up”.
Figuring out how to be yourself in an environment that wants you to be the opposite is a subject dear to my heart. How Pen as to deal with her parents brought all the feels (not because I lived a similar situation, just to clarify). All about being respectful of their wishes and forgetting that respect is a two-side thing. I loved her brother.
This book was both vulnerable powerful.

---

The art of being normal | Lisa Williamson

I know that people loved this book or kinda hated it. David is actually transgender (this is not a spoiler) but only his two best friends know that deep down, David is not gay: he is a girl. I read that this book is not accurate on many points and I totally understand that. However, it was a nice read and transgender characters are hard to came across, still today.

---

What about you?

Do you have any books with LGBTQ+ characters that you would recommend me? Young Adult, Adult… I am not too picky about the genre 😉 Leave me a comment with your favorite reads on the subject.

Today, I will be talking about two art supplies I am discovering (and loving).
Royal Talens was kind and sent me the supplies I share in this video, for review purpose and I am soooooo happy! (This is not a paid video).

Ecoline liquid watercolours

You might remember that a few months back, I shared with you my Current Obsessions video. In it, I share my discovery of the Ecoline watercolours.
In fact, these watercolours are highly pigmented. And I find that (for what I do) they also have a perfect consistency.
They recently changed the packaging: the Ecoline used to be sold in these square glass jars. Now, they are round and come with a dropper. You can also find them sold in sets or individually.

Rembrandt Soft Pastels

One of the things I loved about these is that they sent me the half-sticks pastels. Indeed, I find they are easier to handle and to use than the full-size ones.
As you can see in the video, you can use them for precision or to colour larger areas of your projects.
I love using soft pastels on my Nixies’ faces. They add that soft pop of colour I love.
They are also great for quick study sketches.
How do you use them?

---

If you’re interested, I have an Amazon wishlist with some creative supplies I am dreaming of having. I updated it with a few more Ecoline colours.
Of course, this is just another way to support me as an artist ⭐️