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If you follow me on Instagram (and if you don’t: what are you waiting for??), you know that I started the 100 Day Project this year (and I talked about it here). I am behind and could even say that I will not complete it BUT I am not giving up.
Like my 100 Nixies project, I will not set a deadline but will do my best to work every day on something. Even if it is just making a mark or starting a background.

Here is the video:

Do you like painting abstract? I still find it intimidating so if I could, I’d sign up for all the classes 😉
You’ll see that I had fun using different media for this piece, acrylic paint and markers, oil pastels, modeling paste, stamps… Everything I love most or almost. Because this is what these 100 paintings are about: finding my creative joy again.
And thanks to it, because for weeks on end I only painting abstract, Nixies actually came back full force, nudging me to let them speak.

A few more pictures:

List of supplies:

• Mixed Media Paper
• Dina Wakley paint
• Artguard cream
• Catalyst blade
• Stencil
• Ink pads
• Alcohol Ink
• Acrylic Marker
• NeoPastels

I won’t lie: this painting was both a blast to create and a bit of a challenge.
I told you about my love for Billie Eilish and her music countless times already but kinda kept it a secret that I actually Nixie-fied her 😉

Fighting the nervousness

I have to tell you that it was not meant to be realistic. You should know by now that this is not my thing. I appreciate artists who create realistic portraits though. I did use one or two reference photos, but not to copy them. It was more to get a more specific vibe from Billie Eilish…
I was (am) scared to share this full painting to the world, afraid of what people will think and say about it. But on the other hand, I also have this voice telling me “fuck it! do it anyway” so here we go 🙂
My daughters were REALLY excited about me doing a version of Billie Eilish as a Nixie, and I consulted them now and then to figure out which direction to take.

A few more pictures:

More fanart?

When I did my “365 Nixies in 365 days”, one of them was actually inspired by Willow Smith. And now I wonder: should I let these women inspire my art even more?
What do you think?

Since the beginning of April, I have been completely paralyzed by Fear. Hesitation filled my heart, and I did not think I would share it with you but thought then that maybe… I was not the only one struggling.
I took a break from Facebook without saying why. And here is the reason: each time I went on there, my brain was going crazy with shitty comments. Like “see, SHE is living the life you want. You’re not good enough” “nobody is signing up for the class you’re participating in, they do not care about what you have to share” “you continue on Youtube but see, this artist has hundreds of views in the first 24 hours and you only have a dozen when lucky“. And this is just a sample of what was/is going through my mind when I am browsing social media. And that sucks.

First coping mechanism: withdrawing

That’s what I do without realizing it at first. I will be vague in my “how are you” answer. There is a quieter space I create.
I noticed it only when it is pointed at my face by somebody close to me. However, I also feel that I could disappear any time, nobody would see it.
I often wish for oblivion. They say that ignorance is bliss and when doing Shadow Work, this is a saying that makes its way in my mind. Shadow Work is usually a shit show for me (is it for you, too?). Seeing myself through the blinds, beyond the masks I wear, it’s not always a beautiful thing.
So… I hide.

My go-to tools to make me a warrior

I. Crystals
I go intuitively in my crystal collection and use pieces that I feel called to. Today, I use an Astrophyllite palm stone that I can hold and rub at the same time. This stone is the light in the dark, this really is (for me) the perfect one to use when depression strikes.
Lepidolite is also a gentle one that is good to keep the bad dreams at bay.
What are your go-to crystals for this kind of situation?

II. Take a walk/Workout
There is something about going outside, walking and taking a big breather.
Working from home and being the Human to a pretty needy dog, I have to get outside anyway. But being mindful while walking. Taking deep breaths with each step forward.
This is a practice I started before moving to Québec, I love my previous neighbourhood and it helped.

III. Creativity
Whatever keeps my hands busy usually will keep my mind in check as well. I have two paintings currently dedicated to “feeling all the feels”. One is called “Anger management”. The other has no title yet but I paint on it when a big fight with our 12 yo happens (too often to my likings).
I go safely into my art journal pages and let it all down within. Using tools like writing, scribbling, and cover in it all up. I create something that feels beautiful from the storm that Fear brings.

IV. A bath with a book
This is my number one coping mechanism when I am in physical pain from the fibromyalgia.
In the Summer, I ask my daughter to spend some time with me in the swimming pool instead. Then, immersed in water, I let go of negative feelings. I leave them in the water.
Reading, obviously, is a mean of escape. When Fear and Anxiety are too much, I read and go through fictional characters’ lives instead of my own…

I am so happy to be back to an art journaling video for you guys.
This week, I share with you how Frankie came to be. I am part of the first lucky group of artists who received 3 randomly chosen stencils. Sarah Trumpp’s shop is filled with goodness so I had no doubt it would be a great bunch. By the way, if you’re interested in trying to make something with the same three stencils we had, Sarah created a pack at a special price for you.

Enjoy the video:

As you can see, I don’t really plan ahead. I start with an intention (in this case, having fun with the stencils) and go to town. Seeing how a page or a painting unfolds is one of the best feelings ever. I am an instrument more than anything else…

Some details pics:

List of the supplies I used (some links are affiliate):

• Gesso
• Brayer
• Stencils
• Stabilo All
• Spray Paint
• Paintbrush

I have been on Youtube since 2010. Can’t believe I have been making and uploading videos for nearly a decade now.
When someone is new to a channel, they might see a “trailer” there. The first one I got was there since 2013. I was in my Teal Studio, in our home in British Columbia and it made me a bit too nostalgic. I felt like it needed change (plus, I could not stand that haircut anymore :D). You can still watch this trailer right here.
My 13yo daughter is now helping me out. She shot some of the bits for it, took the pictures and double checked what I write to be sure it’s appealing 😉 Having a teenager that spends her life on social media and watching silly Youtube videos can actually be helpful! ahah

Discover

You can access my Youtube channel by clicking the image below:

My plans for 2019

I am still figuring out what you guys love the most about my videos.
I will do my best to upload at least weekly. If you’re still interested in my creative vlogs, it could be nice to share it once a month.
Making videos is something that makes me really happy. I guess if I could spend the rest of my life painting and making videos, I could be happy…