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I know, I am the first to say that you do not *need* a biological parent as long as you have a parental figure (this is an entire debate, not my point here) but today I really needed my Mom and so I called her. 
Even though since she moved a few months ago it is more complicated because no landline anymore (she had free unlimited calling to Canada, and was really useful) , and also a more than wonky internet service… leaving us very frustrated. But I had a good cry, asked questions that had been on my mind (even if I know her answers might not been objective because I am her girl).

We are in the process of doing what we can to have my Mom live with us but one step at a time. We need her, and I want to believe she does needs us as well (I am an only child on her side).

I miss her. greatly. but I am thankful that we are still close despite the distance and the entire ocean and entire continent between us.

Some days are easier than others. I am pretty good at filling the holes. And I am proud of myself for not running to the Nutella jar, no matter how strong the call can be (we all have our coping mechanism of choice).

Not much more happened today… hopefully tomorrow will be smoother.

thank you so much for watching and for those who take the time to leave me a word, publicly or via email, it touches me deeply.

If there is anything you’d like me to talk about in one of the 15 remaining vlog please let me know.

take care.

I love spending time with other creative people, doing art. We don’t have to do something together but there is a change in the energy that I simply can not deny.

You’ve seen my friend Melle if you have watched a few of my previous vlogs (not in February). She is amazing ! She does watercolour, very detailed work and bind very pretty journals. And much more.

We had lunch on my balcony. I mean… we are in February. In British-Columbia… So yes, we rarely get snow days but we do our fare share of rain. It was actually warm and very very nice outside.

Then the girls came home from school and Mae had a friend/classmate coming over to work on a project. I don’t know exactly the context of it but they have to create a tree and they pick a willow. Thinking it would be an easy one. AH ! no. easy it is not… and did not have enough time, and her friend can’t continue tomorrow so Mae will have to figure the remaining steps to make it pretty by herself… you know, on the eve of the due date. Normal. So I spent some time in the Studio helping them as I could (I am not that crafty… if only Mom had been there…).

It was an overall very good day, I need now to shake off that failure feeling when comes my role as a Mom. But that would be for another story <3

Happy Monday !

My plans for today had to be cancelled last minute but I have to listen to my body and to just accept that sometimes, I can not be in control of everything… I simply can not. So instead of being bummed and frustrated, decided to take the day as a Soul Care day. YES ! Watched a bunch of art videos, getting my creative well filled up again.

Sketching, trying new ways of drawing my Nixies.

A weight from the very heavy mood last week seems to have been lifted. I don’t have clear answers but at least I have hope. And sometimes, this and faith are all you truly need. One day after the other.

DISCLAIMER: this is a longer vlog so take a drink, sit tight and hopefully you’ll enjoy me walking you through my Teal Studio (home studio). Another disclaimer… I absolutely did NOT clean or tidy before recording mwahahah.

A few facts ;):

• My Studio is located at street level (we don’t have a basement but it is still a 3-level townhome, lots of stairs), I unfortunately use the guest bathroom (and even if I clean the sink etc, it is not Mr Clean clean…) but I’m thankful to have one nearby.
• It is my first Studio, I used to just have our dining table as an art table and it was a pain. But there again, better than nothing at all.
• The unfinished look of the painted walls is on purpose, and I even have my handprints on the small part near the door that goes outside. A reminder to myself that everything is a work in progress.
• I have way too much stuff. I am an artsupplyhoarder in recovery and I use to subscribe to several different monthly kits… and it came way faster than I could use it for. I feel trapped and need to get rid of most of it (I still love art supply but know what I use and what I won’t).
• I love having Studio buddies. The space is not huge but can hold two or three persons no problemo.
• I do my best to clean after me on my table before leaving the space for the day because if it is filled with too much stuff I know I will walk away (all about the excuses, right ?). And it feels better to arrive in a somewhat welcoming space, anyway !

Do you have a personal space in your home that you have dedicated to your creativity ? I’d love to know (and why not, see !).

I recorded late last night and knew I would not be quick editing it to post it right away (and I am okay with it).

Yes I already was in my pjs 😉

This is a short one but I wanted you to know you are loved and that your relationship status does not determine your worth. No, I assure you: it does not.