One thing I have learned from many teachers like Jesse Reno or Flora Bowley for example, is to detach myself from what I am painting. Get into the process of bringing it to life, love it, hate it, but no attachment or it will then be much more difficult.
I became quite good at it, most of the time. I do my best to paint for myself first, each piece being a messenger, a lesson bringer for me; and hopefully it will resonate enough with somebody else as well.
As I told you recently, I have three coping mechanisms when I face a little uncertainty in my Studio, and one of them is to go back to what I know and what makes me the most happy. I am doing a little redecorating in our home, and wants to create two 18*24″ paintings to go with the one I already hung in the space that goes from our garage to our principle floor. Tashi was supposed to be there but she is now in our living room instead (oops… #sorrynotsorry).
But it is okay to love where it is going…
I rarely paint on my easel but find that I do enjoy the change and the freedom it gives compared to painting on my table.
Open mind.
Open heart.
No expectation.
Joy in every step.
Every step being an exploration.
Exploration of the mind.
Exploration of the heart.
But it is okay to love where it is going…
You know me, texture is my drug and this is how I started this canvas. Modeling paste and heavy gesso, applied with a Catalyst tool/wedge. Seeing skips and making marks already. I never know where it is going and it can be after a lot of layers that an idea actually comes, an image imposing itself from what would appear to be chaotic for anybody else’s eye but me. When I played with my giant black pencil and made that circle-ish shape that would become her face, I still did not know it will become a face. But I was enjoying the colors, the patterns, the texture happening on the canvas.
But it is okay to love where it is going…
Then, as you can see on the pic above, I played with stencils and Liquitex spray paints. Picked a few paint colors that made me happy (yes, this comes back a lot…) and just applied (I will never stress enough that you need to protect your hands with a specialty cream; read your paint’s label carefully about potential cancer risks warnings). When I determined that the shape was a head, I added two scraps of paper underneath, thinking it would be a dress *or something*, and for a long time she had neither arms nor legs, to be honest. She even had a feather in her hair for a long time. I really really loved her already.
And then… she became that Nixie from my sketchbook (remember how I always tell you I can not put a sketch onto my canvas. never ? you always need an exception to the rule, I guess). I had this Nixie, arms wide open, from which tear drops would fall to water the Earth in my sketchbook, and adored her (so much that I was actually sad to know she will only live between the pages of it). So when she invited herself onto that canvas… I might have done a little happy dance, like getting together with an old friend.
And then a Moon… Full.
But it is okay to love where it is going…
When it was time to hang her with Alecia… I just could not, I wanted to see her more (even if the stairs are one I go up and down in every single day of the week, it is not the same). So I asked the tribe what they were feeling about her, and it was good enough to go ahead and have her in our living space…
So yes… it is okay to get attached to your artwork. More than okay not to create with the expectation to sell it immediately. It is okay to love it so much you want to have it in sight.
I invite you not to feel guilty when you prefer to keep your art just for you 😉 Because I know I do.