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Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you’ll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

January is already coming to en end… We were surprised yesterday morning to wake up under the snow, totally not planned by the meteo guys.

This week was marked by three days when we, one after the other, got the stomach flu. That’s how we rock: we share everything, even the germs. Despite the chaos of the beginning, the week then got filled with pretty surprises.

I am grateful for the wonderful print I ordered to the fantastic artist Samantha Kira: You Can Fly (photo above). You can visit her Etsy shop here. I am also much grateful for the discussions we had this week, her kindness and what she shares with me about her journey. Gives me faith.

We received a HUGE package from Nantes (France), were Santa Claus let some gifts for us under my mom and my aunt’s trees. My mamounette (pronounced like… “mamoon”) created the most amazing gifts for my husband and I. For me, she found three short stories I wrote when I was ten and illustrated them, then she put a spiral binding so it’s like a book. She titled it “stories between us”. And the note that was with it just brought many tears to my eyes.

Thank you to the stomach flu that released me from two kilos. Of course, i gained back some weight but just a little and it was the thing that makes me decide to change my “diet” (aka eating habits) and to find a way of working out that would work for me. And to help, I’m reading along Marianne Williamson’s book “A course in Weight loss, 21 spiritual lessons to surrendering your weight forever” (I’ll talk to you about it, I have a copy to giveaway).

It’s the third week in a row i’m talking about it in my Gratitude Friday blogposts but gosh I LOVE FRINGE !!! And I’m over the moon that I insisted to buy the first season to watch with my husband, we finally have a tv show we both really enjoy and can watch and talk about together 🙂

Thank you for the beauty of snow yesterday, all washed out by heavy rain today.

Thanks a lot for inspiration striking me right in the face, to the Universe for conveying ideas and images and messages. And to show me I am on the right path.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the singer p!nk. For standing up in what she believes, for fighting for causes she thinks deserves attention, for her songs and her music videos. Thank you for having overcomed the hardness of filming such an heartfelt video for her song “f**kin perfect”, it put me on the floor yesterday but was the sign I asked for. I don’t know if I should share the video here as it contains some difficult images to watch (there is a “clean version” of it though).

This week, I am just thankful to be alive.

After having thought a lot about it, i decided to put the video here. BUT you are warned that some scenes may be difficult to watch:

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don’t forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I’m notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):
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Usually, I like writing how the painting came in my mind, what is behind it. But for this one and reasons I don’t get now, the words don’t come.

I began with the intention on getting wild, and fearless. Letting my hands be guided by whatever would come out. It is a weird experience, for sure. But I wanted to start “blank”, not knowing what I will create at all. And this is the result: a kind of Guerilla Goddess. My Athena ? maybe.

I think I currently go through a “I Am” period. I need to speak my Truth. I need to dig deep and discover who I am. And painting is all I can do to go through it, with writing aside.
At first, I was going with “I am Brave”; but when my husband saw the canvas, he told me “don’t you think “I am Bold” would suit it better ?” and BAM that was it.

It’s far away from what I’m used to create, but I kinda like it.

Not that I have nothing to say about it, but the words really seem to want to stay personal and internal.

So maybe YOU could tell me what this artwork is telling you ?

This is a very sensitive topic I am going to talk about, but I have this big gut feeling that I have to share my input because it is something I was struggling with for so long, I’m only at the dawn of getting rid with the feeling of “I am not enough” or “I don’t do enough” or “I don’t whatever_it_is enough”.

Not enough cleaning the house. I should spend hours every day to do laundry, tidy up, clean everything. I don’t.
Not enough ambition. I am 25 and I don’t have a degree, I don’t have a real job.
Not enough marketing. I do create, I do want to send my artworks to the world, but I don’t market myself enough.
My skin is not enough White. My skin is not enough Black. I’m half and half, right in the middle. People sometimes think I’m black, sometimes hispanic, sometimes from somewhere in the Middle-East. I seem not to fit in any ethnic box.
My kids don’t always eat healthy enough because sometimes, i’m just too tired to cook something with vegetables AND protein AND carbs. And I’m aware of it.
I’m not good enough because my father doesn’t really care about learning to know who I am.
I am not clever enough, there is so many things I don’t know in so many subjects.
I am not thin enough, my belly spills over my pants’ bell. Yuck.
I don’t exercise enough.
I don’t go out and meet people outside my husband and kids enough.
And the list can go on and on and on for ever. FOR EVER.

Until I decided to stop the vicious circle. I was told that i should be more like this, or like that. And when it comes from people you care about, people you deeply trust, it hurts. And it stays in your veins like poison slowly killing you. I am sure it’s something that rings a bell somewhere in you, doesn’t it ?

You don’t have to take what those voices say for true, for real. No matter who insinuated and created the feeling of “not enough”, you have the inner strength to get rid of it. I don’t say it is easy. I don’t say you won’t struggle. I don’t even say you will succeed. But I have the firm and strong certitude that you can do it. Because YOU ARE ENOUGH. And you are perfect as you are. Of course, we can always improve ourselves, and I think it’s also why we are alive, to get better through the fights, through the breakdowns. I agree with Sartres when he wrote that Hell is here on Earth, but I also know that we can make Earth our own Paradise, one thing at a time.

Usually, the more people cares about us, the more they expect from us. And I realized that often, they don’t even know how much they put on our shoulders, just because they want us to be happy, to have a good job, to be in a perfect relationship. It’s honorable, but it’s hard for us to keep up with it.
What is the solution ? For me, it all lies in ACCEPTANCE. From my side, accepting to be the person I am deeply, that i can’t be everything they wish I’d be. And acceptance from their side that I do my best. And it’s difficult, yes.

Positive Affirmations are a powerful tool to improve the way you look at you and at your life. Keep repeating to yourself “I am enough” until it’s not a struggle anymore, until you feel deeply inside of your heart that it’s not a lie you are telling to yourself to feel better, it is simply the truth.

As it often starts for me now when I begin a new artwork, I just have an intention in mind. Mine this time was to have a reminder I could look at that I AM ENOUGH.
Not so long ago, my husband asked me why I use the first person on my paintings (“I“), instead of the second one (“You“). And then he stopped and told me “oh don’t bother to answer, I think I get it the minute I started to ask: by writing “I”, you bring the person who looks at it to get involved and to take it personally”. I used to write with “you” and then I noticed that it’s more powerful for me in the first person. What do you must relate to, if I write on my painting “Your are enough” or “I am enough” ?

I started this on Wednesday; at some stage I was truly loving it. And then I worked more on the background and hated it. Strongly, I was all “oh gosh, I destroyed it, it was so much prettier before I added this”. I slept on it (just speaking, it wasn’t under my pillow, don’t worry !). And when I woke up the next day and saw it in the living room, I kind of fell in love with her powerful message. I finished it on Thursday, which is for me kind of a miracle because until now, I never managed to complete an artwork in such amount of time.

I’m amazed at how things are creatively flowing since the beginning of the year. It took some time to get started, but since then it’s just getting more wonderful each day.

Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you’ll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

Hello beautiful You !

How was your week ? I hope your not lost under a mountain of snow and that you are safe where you are in the World.
How are you doing ? Do you manage to shift your way of seeing what you experience and see more easily what’s positive in it ? If not, don’t worry. Stick to your Gratitude Practice and it will come.

A very good way of learning how to receive and be more aware of the gifts sent by the Universe (in so many ways !), is to sign up for my friend Jo Anna’s project called “The Receiving Project“. It’s totally free and it changed my life in 2010 (and still now). Go check it out.

This week, I am thankful for:

• The new artwork I created. It is powerful (for me at least), it helped me in my healing process. You’ll know everything about it tomorrow.
• All the new creative opportunities that are flying my way all at the same time. I’m just in awe. It will be amazing !!
• For the support of online friends.
• Friends sharing with me their love for the tv show Fringe 😀
• Email giving me some long awaited news.
• The warmth of our home.
• The snow we had, even just for a day.
• The book I’m currently reading, Matched, by Allie Condy. I try not to think how long I’ll have to wait for the two sequels…
• I’m slowly but surely losing some weight.
• Suzie Ridler’s awesome roll bread recipe. I made it twice this week (without the thyme), it’s just so yummy and easy to do thanks to my bread machine.

Don’t give up.

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don’t forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I’m notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):
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Hellowwwwwww !

Vancouver dressed up with her white robe during the night… We enjoy it, knowing it will be all gone because of the rain announced to pour for the at least next 14 days -!!!!-.

On December 31st 2010, I started a new artwork… I had no idea what I wanted it to be, just that there has to be an Owl somewhere (the Owl is one of my totem animal).
Since the workshop I attended last September with Jesse Reno, I do my best to let go, to not get too attached with my paintings while creating, to be in the present and not in the “it’s going to be like this and like that and….” as I used to be. It’s not that easy for me, it’s really a new way of approaching my art, my way of thinking about it. I now start with an intention, a idea, knowing deep inside that there are chances it will be totally different eventually. And accepting that it is okay was a breakthrough for me.

2010 really was a determinative year in my creative life. Embracing it, Accepting it, Loving it. 2011 will be the year i’ll put everything in motion, make something real and share with the World. It also will be the year when I won’t be affraid anymore to show how my artwork and my spirituality are linked together and make me who I am. Fearing to be judged, to be misunderstood, kept me away from sharing as much as I wanted to.

So… I started this on December 31st, it was my last artwork of 2010. But as usual, I wasn’t able to achieve in one day so I finished it yesterday, in January 2011. My first finished painting of the year (I don’t coun the Sketchbook Project, which is something else). I love how this artwork is for me the link between two different years.
I see it is kind of different from what i do, but is still me. There is a shift happening…

Here it is:

You know I want to add word(s) in my artwork. I wanted something in one of the clouds, no idea what though. I read not very carefully a few pages of the book devoted to collages (bought 50cts at the library book fair last year), until my eyes stopped on something. “Magical and unexpected gift”. Here it was. Perfect ! It’s a small font, so you really have to get close to the canvas to read it, and I actually like it this way.

What kind of magical and unexpected gift would you like to receive soon ? Don’t be affraid to go crazy dreaming, you may be surprised by what happens 😉