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Day #7 !!! I still have not given up, yaaay *I tend to give up so I am proud of myself for still doing this project*

I know I know… there is not «day #6». I tried… I recorded 2mn. But did not go on. Monday was a full day of everything and nothing at the same time, and it was late (almost 9pm or something), I started to actually film in bed but I realized something: I can not film while speaking if there is someone nearby who can hear me. Yup. So I gave up and made peace with skipping one day.

Coming back from a long weekend is always hard, even when we stay home. Long weekend equals time spent together, family activities, no alarm clock in the morning… when the usual routine comes back, it kicks me hard. I feel lonely, often feel lost too, somehow. Not really knowing what to do with myself, even if the quantity of things to do is huge. I know, now, that it is a matter of coming back to the routine and it passes quickly, but still.

But my day got brighter when I received this stunning painting from my Kindred Micki Wilde. She amazes me constantly by her talent and she brightens my day. I painted a bit, I do not really like what came up but I am totally okay with it because there is nothing that can’t be undone 😉 this is part of the process anyway. I had fun. Kind of.

So yea… art made my day better.

Olympia (WA) really is a pretty city. The Capitol is on top of a hill with a path we can go on, near Marathon Park.

We walked A LOT and at the end it was raining but not pouring. We will come back to the Nasqually Wildlife Refuge when it will be warmer so maybe more birds will be out there. Mae really wanted to see a weasel or an otter but I guess it was too cold for them to come out to play. We however saw two bald eagles (you see them in the vlog), a beautiful blue heron, lots of seagulls, different species of ducks… and geese. So it was not all of nothing at all. And it is good to be outside anyway.

We were blessed to have a beautiful sunny day, almost the total opposite of the day before.

Here are a few photos:

I am writing from the hotel room we are for the night, in Olympia (WA). It is a long weekend for us in British Columbia as we celebrate Family Day on Monday.

With my Husband, we decided at the beginning of the year to do our best to get away every long weekend in 2015. We love doing road trips, love we got from our life in France I guess. And it is important to devote time together as a family, and this is better done away from our habits at home…

We stopped at Bellevue and had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Remember what I told you about portion control ?? Well… the good side of the outrageous bigness of them in restaurants is that it can make you two meals instead of one 😉

We are well located in Olympia as we are 2km away from a Trader Joe’s… and a Barnes & Nobles. We are coming home heavier with new books and some POP figurines (but still no Castiel).

Newest member of my pop family 🙂 6″ (12cm) tall Baymax

A photo posted by Anthony P (@anth0p) on Feb 7, 2015 at 8:47pm PST

Thank you everyone for having taken the time to watch yesterday’s 20mn vlog and read the novel of a blogpost I published this morning to go with it. It means a lot to me that it resonated with you. And if it had not, I needed to get it out there so I did.

Today is a «I am in a phunk» kinda day. Stomach is upset, weather is dreadful (rain+crazy wind), administrative side of the business needed to be taken care of (therefore no time to paint). But I am thankful to have orders to pack and bless before shipping them tomorrow. I do everything with intention and packing my art to go to its new homes is taken seriously over here. It makes me happy, and usually the person at the Post Office can’t refrain a little smile when she sees the drawing and things on the envelopes 😉

I am just about to step into a hot bath, light a stick of incense (Shiva sounds like a good helper for today), light a candle or two, and maybe finish my current book (Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare).

Talk to you tomorrow <3

This is a sensitive issue. And I feel like I rambled for 20mn instead of saying all I wanted to share about that subject of body image, how I decided to «go back into my body» and what I now do… So I guess it is a good thing to blog along the vlog (ah !), to write all the things I could not say. It is one thing to write about it and another to actually talk about it… sorry.

I have been asked a few what did I do to lose my over weight. What do I eat. If I exercice.

I tell you in the vlog that I would try to find some pictures. And, beautiful Beans, THIS is asking a lot out of myself. Even more than talking english on video. Yup. It says a lot… but there you go:

I think this was taken around 1991 or 1992, so I probably was 6 or 7 years old in this pic:

These are not the pretties pictures and I did not intend to show myself at my best but to give you an idea of the body changes in two years. Each pic was taken at the beginning of the year.
This is really hard to look at (so imagine, all the official papers with my face on it that had to be done in 2013. I feel like I could puke each time I have to see a photo of me when I was looking like this. The fact that I was 20kg over weight. The fact that I just don’t know who this woman is. The fact that I can’t believe I let myself go that down… I failed myself. This is how it feels, anyway. Because I fell down the «not eating enough» wagon, then the emotion over eating one. Where is the balance in the middle of the crazy shit we think about our selves, about our body ? I can’t tell you I bear the anwer to this question, because I believe the answer is different for everyone.

Some of the tools for my success

Portion control

This is the number one that changes everything. Switch the plates you use, take the size under. This way, even if you fill it, it will be less food but your brain will still see register it as «not deprived». Sounds silly but trust me, it works.

In North America, this is what is wrong, in my opinion. Everything is too much. Way too much food as a «normal». This was one of our number one shock when we arrived from France and went to eat out. Like really. We knew everything was kinda bigger here but not to this extent. So my advice when you go out: drink a glass of water to fill you a bit; don’t be afraid to ask for the leftovers to be packed for you and take it home for another meal. You do not have to finish your plate. No, you don’t.

And about seconds… doing a little sensation in the tummy check is good. Are you sure you are still hungry ? Isn’t it just that you don’t want to waste (hey, there is nothing wrong with leftovers guys) ? Isn’t it that you really like the food that is on the table and want more of the goodness ?

Take your time

Another one that sounds obvious but the faster you gulp down your meal, the less chances your body will register that it actually received some fuel. They say we should take at least 20 minutes to eat a meal. And another good side of taking your side is that you will enjoy the actual food more, because you won’t be in a rush to just be done with it.

Fitbit Flex

Yup, I have had mine for a bit more than a year now, was a christmas present from my beloved. I need to be motivated (and I love gadgets, too). I love that it is synced with my phone and is accessible on my computer as well. I can set up my own goals (for now, I lowered first from 10,000 steps to 5,000 to 6,500 to now 8,000 steps a day). If I want, I can record what I eat, if I want to lose weight (or to maintain), and any exercice done during the day. I am a visual person, and the little leds dots are good, I check during the day to see how far I am from my goal, and it does help me to keep going.

Cooking what I eat

Obvious, right ? But if you want to gain control into what comes into your body, you need to cook. You don’t have to be amazing at it, no worries.

You don’t have to buy everything organic, but if you can afford it, why not ? Be careful about the protein sources you choose.

Butter is not your enemy, but I would suggest you use ghee, which is clarified butter. It has a very high smoking point and is better. It tastes so good, too. I also love cooking with coconut oil but it does taste coconutty so you need to be aware of that.

What I eat

I am a foodie. I did start cooking school in France, worked in a restaurant, but life had other plans for me when a little Soul decided to join us earlier than we thought. I love cooking. I love eating. I love exploring and discovering. But for a while… I lost all interest, cooking the least possible, eating because I had not not because I wanted to. In retrospect it makes me sad but I know this helped where I am now. I used to have a pretty big food blog back in France. As I say in the vlog, I sometimes miss blogging and sharing about food (but I invite you to follow my Instagram account, in which I regularly share about food).

I eat way more raw food than ever. Love me some good salads, but not the boring kind. I allow myself a little cheese in there but real good cheese (my current favorite is the «French feta cheese» found in Fred Meyer), and sprinkled with nutritional yeast. Make your own dressing so you know exactly what is in there and this way, you can get rid of the junk they put in the premade ones (no matter how good they can be. Making your own will take a few minutes only).

I am neither Paleo, nor Vegan nor anything that actually fits into a label. I am comfortable with what works for me: try my best to avoid gluten and refined sugar, not too much meat and when I do I am picky, cook with ghee or coconut oil or very good olive oil. I try to avoid too much soy but I do love me tofu; I found a good replacement for soy sauce called Coconut Aminos.

When it comes to drink… water is of course your best friend. If it is hard for you to just slurp plain water throughout the day, try adding fresh fruits like citrus in it 😉 I love juices but always go for the one «not from concentrate». My favorite at the moment is the «Power from 7» juice from Trader Joe’s.

Keep moving

Find what works for you. You don’t have to run if it is not your thing. I fast walk for about 40 minutes every morning. But in order to get to it, I need to chase any excuse I could find. I take my iPod with me, and my phone when we go to wait for the schoolbus, and I go as soon as my girls are inside and on their way to school. Because if I have to go back home I will just stay there and procrastinate… I have a bike but barely use it, what a shame. When I feel like it, I will do some stuff following Youtube videos.

My husband and I also invested into the DDP Yoga DVDs but need to go back to it (there again, it is more fun to do that with somebody…).

I am looking for good resources to start yoga.

I know it can be overwhelming. We hear so many contradictory infos about health and food, about health and moving. Do what works for you and stick to it. If I am able to do it, after years of yoyo weight, after years of thinking my body was just the kind to gain weight and never losing it, you can do it too. YOU CAN DO IT ! One good choice at a time…

I am sorry this is a very long post… if you have any questions please post them in the comments <3