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It’s been quite some time since my last {In Motion} video, that’s true. But I had a blast during the Vlog Everyday in February project, to be honest.

I did not want to play in my art journal for this video, so I just grabbed what is familiar: an 8×10″ canvas board, some happy colors of acrylic paint (out of my comfort zone, though) and off I went.

What I love about Rayna is that I did not struggle much about bringing her to life, about seeing her (I actually went from the crown-ish thing on her). I loved playing with embossing powders (using my favorite brand, Lindy Stamp Gang) for her head piece thingy, keeping it on the abstract side of the spectrum.

Covering (almost) everything in the background with thick white paint (and this time a bit of grey added to it) can be scary, and I don’t know if I can say that it becomes less and less scary with time, but there is a lot of freedom that is associated to it, that I am sure. And I really like that we can still see some of the beautiful layers peaking through underneath.

Here are a few pictures:

It feels like forever passed since I wrote my last Gratitude Friday blogpost. Everything, right now, feels like forever, to be honest. And I have to be okay with that, and to accept that everything goes to its own rythm, that pushing is a waste of energy. It is about balancing the Light and the Dark and this is what I have struggled with since my early teenage years. And this is why carving time to reflect, to pause and to truly deeply be thankful matters to me.

This week, I am thankful for:

• Music
• Going back to my Teal Studio
• Running with Grenouille
• Having my Mom on the phone
• Finally writing a book that feels right, deep in my bones
• My husband’s unconditional love, no matter what
• My Kindreds Sisters
• Art
• Books
• The days with no rain falling
• Mysteries
• Hot bath taken mid-afternoon, because I can

And you… what are you thankful for ?

When I started Mixed Media in 2008, I always started with a very precise end result idea in mind and spent more time actually sketching it on the canvas than then painting it. I needed to know exactly where a piece was going, and to know how I would execute it. I guess at the time, it all had to do with insecurities. No being comfortable with my process, not comfortable with my skills.

Some days, I step in the Studio and face a blank. «Why am I here ?» «I don’t know what to do next» «what if I just don’t know anything anymore?» and whatever… Even when I know it is only Fear, it is not easy to go pass her, she is like that giant unmovable statue whispering shit to my ears.

So what do I do ? I either push, harder, further, and harder again. Or I bask in it a little, allowing it to show me a different side of my creativity. Maybe something better is on the way and this is why I need my mind to quiet for a bit. Maybe I need this time to explore different ways of doing what I usually do inside of my comfort zone.

Some days, I want to quit it all. Leave the creative life behind. Have a «normal» 9 to 5 job somewhere. But then I remember how I suffocated for so many reasons when living that life; how a life without doing what I love feels meaningless. No matter how hard and how close the edges sometimes are. 
What message would that send to my daughters ? They need to know. They need to know you can do what you love. They need to know it’s okay to not always know the answer(s). They need to know the Truth is not always pretty but always is powerful in some way.

I am a Virgo, and even if I don’t feel like one that often, it makes me who I am. Perfectionist. Craving for knowing everything. Need to know the next ten steps before even putting my feet on the ground. It is who I am. A living paradox. Being a Mixed Media artist allows me to think/feel/act «screw it». Being an artist allows me to let go of the need to know what the end will be when I begin. It allows me to stay in the flow. To let whatever happens be.

And being an artist does not mean selling shit tons of art, no. It does not (yes, I repeat this to myself over and over).

You do not have to know the end, the result. You don’t.

March is here ! which means Spring is blooming, finally. Even if we did not experience Snowgadon here, I am really happy for longer days, more Sun, more life. Taking a deep breath in. It’s gonna be okay.

This week, I am thankful for:

• The time spent in my Teal Studio
• Phone call with Mom
• Taking the steps I need to get better
• My Soul Care rituals
• Magic
• Snail mail
• Cooking what is good for my body (yes to artisan gluten free bread !)
• My Kindreds
• Tears. Cleansing.
• Music
• The two bald eagles in the Cedar trees by our home
• Taking the steps to achieve that big dream
• New opportunities
• Self-Portraiture

See, for me it often is in the little things that will shift how I feel. What about you ?

This morning was a very early rise for me, as for Kalyani. So instead of allowing her to go right there to the TV (at like… 7am), I told her she could either go back to bed for about an hour or join me to create something in the Studio. And she picked the later (yaaay !); so yes, we were in the Studio very early this morning.

She did not want to paint and I did not want to sew so I suggested we would finally make some figurines with air drying clay we bought. She decided to try to do Baymax from the anime Big Hero 6. Kalyani  really likes to try her hands at every kind of art and manual activity possible, but she likes instant gratification (who does not, right ?), which you can’t really have with sculpting so it is good learning from her too 😉

I prepared almond milk for the first time, you would not believe how quick it is. My shoulders hurt a bit from the pressing part but  it is worth the small effort. It is SO good that Mae actually drank some like milk, which she never did with store bought before. WIN ! Just remember that we need to soak the almonds the night before… And with  the almond pulp. which still is edible (nothing is lost, everything is thansformed), I made some raw «truffles/raw balls». Thank you Danielle from Against All Grain !
I prepared some food for this week, too.

We had our families on the phone, tried webcams that did not really work as we had hoped for… then some grocery shopping for what we did not find yesterday, late lunch and it was time to go for the playdate. Today passed quite fast !

It is now 7:30pm and we are WAY behind schedule for a night before school…. gotta run <3

Tell mr about your day. What did you do ?