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Today, my girls were off from school so we spent all day together. So I have special guests with me for today’s vlog. And you will finally understand why we surnamed ourselves *The KooKooYoos* mwahahah.

The weather was not amazing but good so as soon as Mae was ready (because well… Kaly was up at 7am and really excited when I told her we would go outside once the breakfast would be eaten and everyone would be dressed properly) we went out. The girls wanted to go up to their school but… it is a good 3km walk, one way, so I said no, not this time, but we could try later with Daddy. They were sad because the schools nearby were not closed today so we could not use their playgrounds but we had fun anyway 🙂 I took the time to write my Gratitude Friday blogpost and reflect on the actual goodness that was sent my way this week.

Then, we cooked lunch and as you can see, they were pretty excited about the rice (wondering why though but… we love to do our lazy sushi bowls, and I was pretty happy about their choice for lunch ! ahah). We ate while watching Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland. The visual of this movie is just amazing and I love the behind the scenes and making off bits and pieces in the blu-ray. I mean… Alice’s dresses are just stunning. And this is the perfect example why, a lifetime ago, I was dreaming of being a makeup artist (yup). It was the first time I judged they were mature enough for it (because they can still be easily impressed so we pay real care to what we allow them to see… but they are smart kiddos and our attention slips now and then, as any kid, they try).

We baked cookies and cake. What was supposed to be one cake ended up making three (did not find the correct pan… so did not get the magic part of the magic cake as much as I wanted, but it’s okay. next time will be better). So we gave two to our neighbors and brought some cookies for the new family that just moved into our complex (call me Bree… if only I could have a pretty clean and tidy house like her though). Their girl is Mae’s age and their boy a couple years older.

And then… we very quickly went to Clipper Street so I could pick up some supplies they had put aside for me. I love clear gesso and I am really excited about this new one, way less liquid than the only one I know by Liquitex, and all the new possibilities. I had the idea for a future vlog, can’t wait to take the time for it. Monday maybe.

Have a nice weekend <3

Welcome on a new edition of my weekly ritual, Gratitude Friday (if you are not familiar with it, please go read how it came up and what it is about).

My cup feels full today. My girls don’t have school and I refuse that they spend their entire day in front of a screen (and trust me, we have many…) so we will go outside (as soon as Mae finally finish her bowl of cereals… which usually takes about 45mn…), we will create in the Studio and bake a magic chocolate cake. Everything soothes with chocolate. At least, this is my plan, but we know it rarely go according to plan, right ?

This week, I am thankful for:

• Unexpected acts of kindness
• Learning new techniques
• Sleep
• Playing Kirby
• Time with my Husband
• Talks with my Mom
• Magical Mail waiting for me to pick it up tomorrow
• Fresh veggies
• Self-portraiture
• Creativity
• Vlogging
• Gemstones that help
• Deepening my spritual path, finding my way
• Friends of my daughters coming over
• Melissa spending the day with me
• Books
• My morning walks

I want to focus on that. The little things that make it better when I spend the time to actually feel them in my bones. Once I feel them deeply, it shifts everything.

What are you thankful for ?

Some days, I need to let the unexpected and unknown guide my feet.
Some days, I just need to put that red lipstick I love. Just because.
And that galaxy leggin people find ridiculous. Who cares ?
oh and that Lindt heart chocolate that makes me sick but I wanna indulge in eating anyway (my choice) ? yes, was delicious despite the cramps and stuff after.

I have my share of bad days and tend to ignore them. But I know that ignoring is not the right thing to do because… well… it does not solve it. or make it go away. And when I am cranky, when I feel emotions I don’t understand or can’t put a name on, I snap. To those I love the most, the harder. And I am sorry. So very sorry. This life is such a huge learning curve. I do believe though that by focusing on the pain (whether it is physical or spiritual or mental or everything) just gives it power and force… so what is the balance in all of that ? Repressing is bad, basking in it is bad… talking too much about it and not talking at all about it are equally damaging.

I think that the first healthy step is to acknowledge the emotion and then find a way to process it. After decades of eating my emotions, after years of detructive thoughts, I know it is not easy but I know it is possible to find a way out, to at least keep the head above the water. Having a tight support circle is essential. People you can call whenever you fell that it is getting too much, without sugar coating anything, just as you are. It is not easy to let the walls down, and people in. But you need someone. We all do.

So today was about cultivating my happiness, filling the well again. I walked longer and different paths than usual. I ate a good fresh salad for lunch. Put my favorite matte red lipstick. Enjoyed a ginger beer (no alcohol) while painting, and a chocolate. I took a long bath (started a new book by an author I know the name but never read a book from, I think). And then I received the most exquisite handmade journals (one for me and one for each of my girls) made out of Disney book bards, hand binded, ordered by my Kindred Mindy <3 Thank you so much !

I know, I am the first to say that you do not *need* a biological parent as long as you have a parental figure (this is an entire debate, not my point here) but today I really needed my Mom and so I called her. 
Even though since she moved a few months ago it is more complicated because no landline anymore (she had free unlimited calling to Canada, and was really useful) , and also a more than wonky internet service… leaving us very frustrated. But I had a good cry, asked questions that had been on my mind (even if I know her answers might not been objective because I am her girl).

We are in the process of doing what we can to have my Mom live with us but one step at a time. We need her, and I want to believe she does needs us as well (I am an only child on her side).

I miss her. greatly. but I am thankful that we are still close despite the distance and the entire ocean and entire continent between us.

Some days are easier than others. I am pretty good at filling the holes. And I am proud of myself for not running to the Nutella jar, no matter how strong the call can be (we all have our coping mechanism of choice).

Not much more happened today… hopefully tomorrow will be smoother.

thank you so much for watching and for those who take the time to leave me a word, publicly or via email, it touches me deeply.

If there is anything you’d like me to talk about in one of the 15 remaining vlog please let me know.

take care.

I love spending time with other creative people, doing art. We don’t have to do something together but there is a change in the energy that I simply can not deny.

You’ve seen my friend Melle if you have watched a few of my previous vlogs (not in February). She is amazing ! She does watercolour, very detailed work and bind very pretty journals. And much more.

We had lunch on my balcony. I mean… we are in February. In British-Columbia… So yes, we rarely get snow days but we do our fare share of rain. It was actually warm and very very nice outside.

Then the girls came home from school and Mae had a friend/classmate coming over to work on a project. I don’t know exactly the context of it but they have to create a tree and they pick a willow. Thinking it would be an easy one. AH ! no. easy it is not… and did not have enough time, and her friend can’t continue tomorrow so Mae will have to figure the remaining steps to make it pretty by herself… you know, on the eve of the due date. Normal. So I spent some time in the Studio helping them as I could (I am not that crafty… if only Mom had been there…).

It was an overall very good day, I need now to shake off that failure feeling when comes my role as a Mom. But that would be for another story <3