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The current art journal I am playing in seems so far from what I used to do inside my former journals. It feels weird but good at the same time. They follow my journey, the complexity and simplicity of it, it’s paradoxicality.

I don’t know how come I am currently passing through a rough patch in my creativity, being in the lowest part of the wave. Wanting to paint, to do something, but once I get in my studio, knowing i actually have some time available for it, nothing comes…
I guess it has to do with the weird place I am right now in my life. Where I know the direction I wanna go toward to, but in the «Now» I have no clue how to actually get there. So there is frustration, and also sadness, and sometimes envy (i hate this one specifically). I try to work on that and wash them all away; some days are easier than others but I see real progress in how I do handle the negative thoughts that go through my mind now and then.

I just had kind of an epiphany about what is actually really happening with me. I am mourning. Grieving. FINALLY should I say, as I guess it should have happened before right now. But as we keep saying in France «mieux vaut tard que jamais» (meaning: «better late than never») ! I am saying goodbye to the Nolwenn I thought I would become, all the things and experiences I did not have and maybe will never have because of lots of things. However, I refuse to live in a place filled with regrets and filled with «What If-s». So I am trying to move on, to accept (I should count the number of times I speak of acceptance here ;)) what is and what is not, and just enjoy and do my best. Do my best.

I am currently taking Mindy Lacefield‘s art journaling class called «Neat Stuff» (that is actually over but available for you to take at your own pace), all about honoring our childhood and keeping it alive in our journal (or outside of it if we want). This class is jampacked !
In one of the last day, Mindy shared her way of painting a more realistic face, I was waiting for this to inspire me and to show me how it is possible to combine child-ish and realistic (you can see it in the class button on the left <——).

Mindy is simply an amazing woman, with such a bright and beautiful Soul…

While I am in the midst of finding myself again, I just grab my journal and see what happens. And this all thing reminds me how it feels good to do so. And that I should do it more often again.

Here is a journal spread I titled «My Messy Mind»:

«My Messy Mind». Print available in Inner Worlds

It just started with the desire to practice my faces, and to play with my not-so-new-now stencils from The Crafter’s Workshop (most of them on this page, if not all, designed by Julie Fei-Fan Balzer). I wanted muted colors and simplicity. The words came by themselves at the end. I really really like this page.

This blogpost took me WEEKS to write and publish, I apologize if it does not make a lot of sense. But I hope it may resonate with someone so I publish it now or it will stay in my drafts for ever and ever.

Trist is one of my newest Nixies. She is here to tell you that it is okay to feel what you feel.

I am one of those chicks who firmly believes in the power of thoughts. That believes in the fact that our thoughts build our worlds, both inside and outside of us.
Thoughts and emotions are closely intertwined (thanks my dear friend Sweety Falafel for saying that to me again and again (and again and…)) and we are not the slaves of our thoughts.

OK, I have no idea where this was leading to, I guess I just had to write it here (this is the downside of starting a blogpost and coming back again several days after)…

I don’t hide anymore that I used to be what I call «Spleenic» (in the Baudelaire’s meaning nothing to do with any organ, but it seems like something you don’t learn about in the US as he was a French Poet in the 1800s. It describes an everlasting state of Melancholy without any reason. *if you read french, here is a good article about it*). I woke up sad, felt it all day long and would go to bed crying without really knowing why.
It was a vicious circle, my whole life was evolving around this sadness (the music I was listening to, the movies I adored, friends that would understand, a boyfriend that was as broken as me…).

My Nixies have all an important message to deliver (even when I think I am not quite ready yet to hear it, to work through it at that moment). Sometimes, however, this message is quite unexpected to me. I like that they are all someway positive, this is something that matters a lot to me. Even if sometimes they touch sensible points, like Amelia’s.
It never fails to make me nervous to share them when it happens. However, I do know that there is a positive reason behind everything, including these messages around difficult areas of Life.

Trista is about sadness. She is here to remind me that sadness is just an emotion that passes through me, that yes sometimes decides to settle in for a while, but that always eventually go away.
I used to fight it. Hard. And the harder I tried to push it back, the longer sadness stayed. I never really won against her on the long run, to be honest. This is how I learned to embrace it, to make peace with it, and then to let her go.
Trista reminds me that sadness is not a fatality. It does not define me.

Your emotions DOES NOT define who you are. Repeat after me: «My emotions are not me». Good !

Original SOLD
Prints available here

Here is the video (click on the little gear button to watch it in HD):

Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you’ll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

Hello !

It’s mid-July or so, as I am writing this it feels like November weather wise after a few weeks of very nice sunshiny days. Of course it happens when I want to record a new {Painting In Motion} video and when I don’t have a light bulb lamp around to continue despite the darkness. BUT it means I will just have to do something else instead.

I have a lot of blogposts I began to write, even more things I would love to share with you. But something is blocking me (again), not saying having to keep my 5 and 7 years old daughters busy so they don’t spend their summer playing on the computer or watching tv all day long.

It’s in these kind of periods when I find it very important to have this daily ritual we have when having dinner together: sharing the best parts of our day, what we loved the most, what we enjoyed. As a family, it’s something we really like to do (and often, my girls are the one saying in the middle of the meal «oh, let’s share what we liked today ! we forgot» and then start listing and explaining to their dad who was not home with us etc. Love it !

This week:

• Thank you for Melissa’s visit last Sunday. We exchanged one of her wonderful handmade journal for one of my paintings. She is so very talented, go visit her store here: YellowMellArts.
• My dear SoulSister Anu. I can’t remember how life was before her friendship. She is a precious gem (and an AMAZING life coach, if you need clarity and help, you need to check her out. NOW !).
• My mom is cancer free. We will know for sure next Monday but i keep repeating it to myself «mom is cancer free», in case the Universe needs a little reminder that They can’t take her back yet.
• The moments in my art studio with my girls, creating a simple journal for each of them and then painting inside of it.
• I am finally back on taking care of my Spirituality. There is this thing missing I could not pinpoint completely. So I am Soul searching until I’ll feel whole again.
• I am in a 7/10 pain scale most of the time, sometimes more. But as long as I can move, I don’t complain much. I decided to do daily walks in my neighbourhood when the weather is nice. Alone or with my tribe.
• Thank you for the «Caster Chronicles» book serie, i am now reading #3 and will have to wait until October for the last installment of the serie. The only bad part of it is that I am now obsessed with Southern food, like grits and Mississipi mud pie. Will have to try !
• Mindy Lacefield‘s classes are amazing, I am glad I signed up for both.
• The support from my Golden Customer, she knows who she is and I am very grateful for her.
• I’m grateful for art, that saves my sanity.

What are you grateful for this week or just right now ?

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don’t forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I’m notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):
[linkme]

(in lieu of a Gratitude Friday blogpost today, I am bringing you this. PLease, share with me: what do you love ?) I love……:

the sound of the rain when I am warm inside and know I won’t have to get outside.
cuddling with my girls first thing after waking up.
my husband. his hands. his eyes. his warmth. the way he always makes me feel beautiful.
my mom. her unconditional love and support. her strength. her non-conformity.
my half-brothers & sister. can’t wait to meet them.
a good sushi roll, even better with shrimp tempura+avocado+salad+spicy mayo+tobiko. But no raw fish.
the scent of rose, lavender, violet, ylang-ylang.
taking a (very) hot bath while reading a good book and some candles.
cute creepy creatures. they make me feel less alone.
walking in a space surrounded by trees.
receiving snail mail. and parcels.
singers that sing what they have written with honesty.
people that know how valuable they are to the World. and are not afraid to uplift others.
the sensation of paint on my bare hands.
snow but not cold weather.
owl. raven. elephant. octopus. whale. hippo.
the smell of melting butter. what we call the «beurre noir» in my part of the world («brown butter»).
dancing like no one is watching and as if i was still looking like I was 17yo.
sending Reiki to people who need it. even better when they say it helped.
books that teach me how to be the Me I know I can be.
taking photos.
trust.
a meal that does not end up with me or my husband having a nervous breakdown because of the girls.
witnessing dusk and dawn.
mist.
going to a fair and do the scary rides (if only my husband was not a chicken ! it’s more fun with someone).
discovering a song I can add on my «Life soundtrack» list.
having «ah-ah» moments, or witnessing someone’s.
…
to be continued.

You know I am a huge fan of hers. Not long ago, she shared 5 of her Truths and invited her readers to share theirs.

Truth is one of my favorite subjects. I love how it is different for me than it is for you, that there are «Universal Truth-es» in the World. I am working hard at accepting mine and sharing them along in my paintings, and when I was younger putting them on paper in depressing proses.

Here are 5 Truths (for me):

1. Listening to music makes everything better.
   

2. I did not become a professional Chef but food is a huge part of my life.
   

3. Painting with my fingers never fails to make me happy.
   

4. I am both Light and Dark.
   
   

5. Texture is everything.

   

Your time now, what are 5 Truths you wanna share with us ?