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Almost done, just need to open up and listen to her wisdom.

Susannah Conway is inviting us to post a photo a day on our blog for the month of august. I won’t only do that and will write other blogposts as well but I thought it was a good idea. No pressure is what I need.

Here is my picture for today:

Yesterday (july 31st 2011) I got my 4th tattoo done at Adrenaline, in Vancouver, by Jimbow.

This tattoo was done on the most painful trigger point of my body. The one i can’t even touch without saying a huge “ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Maybe I am a masochist, and trust me the first 3 were easy peasy, this one hurt like Hell.
Jimbow, just before beginning, gave me a strong mint chewing gum, telling me “it is very good to have this while getting a tattoo, so you can chew the pain” and yes… And breathing too. I am happy I gave birth twice so I learned how to manage the pain (do not laugh :-))

The tattoo itself took me like a year to come with the concept.
The lotus flower is one of my personal symbol. It blooms in the mud. It is also a symbol of faithfullness and spiritual awakening so I know I stay on my path, always.
Five stars (that finally will be 7 someday), one green for healing and abundance, one yellow for my mom, one teal for my husband, one red for Grenouille (my first daughter), one blue for my Koala (second daughter).
And my power word GRATITUDE written in the handwriting I use on my artwork (it was important to me), to remember to appreciate everything I am given and thank for it, the bad, the good.

Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you’ll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

Hello !

Today is a weird day. I was diagnosed this morning with fibromyalgia; many of you are familiar with it and having a lot (!!!) of art friends suffering and dealing with it is what rang a bell a few months ago for me, today just makes it official. My doc tested the trigger points and 16 out of the 18 points were hurting like Hell, so there is no place for doubt.

This week, I am grateful for:

• Knowing I was not inventing the pain and the fatigue and everything else. And having meds to help, hoping it will actually help.
• The support on Facebook regarding my diagnosis is just amazing. Thank you to all of you.
• We are planning a few days vacation in Seattle area for next week. My husband was able to switch the August 1st holiday with the next monday so we will have 5 days together. On friday i will be attending Teesha Moore’s art journaling class, along with Kym from blissatworks and Violette Clark (i will meet both for the first time).
• Art is my best therapy. It is like when creating, the pain is more deaf. It does not make it go away but it soothes.
• I sold another original painting, one i am really proud of. It is “Your Soul Song”, I made a video of it right there.
• I will be doing mail art, which will be a first time. I have a lot of stupid questions raging in my mind about it but it will be fun and i am excited to receive some beautiful art from around the world. Thanks Nessa for organizing it at first.
• I was asked to be part of what will be an amazing project. Writing my bio stresses me a little bit though.
• I received my art supplies orders from Lindy Stamp Gang (where i had a pretty big discount) and Art from the heart, and nothing makes me more happy than new art supplie (or not a lot of things lol).
• My mom will arrive in less than 3 months now and I can’t wait to crawl in her arms for a real big hug.
• I finally love posting my pictures on flickR and the comments I get there. I was not that into it before.
• I finally dared to ask The Universe to guide me toward my $100,000 idea. For me, asking for it is like a HUGE step forward. It is not money to get rich, it is money to finally own OUR home.

I am learning to listen to my body. As I was telling to a friend, this is like pregnancy in the way i am learning stuff about my body I could not have known without this specific moment 😉

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don’t forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I’m notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):
[linkme]

As I was writing yesterday in my Gratitude Friday blogpost, creating is currently more than ever my safety valve, my way of screaming my pain, of doing like nothing was going on, my way of trying to balance the physical pain. Wether it is in my art journal or on canvas. I am not expecting anything  anymore from my artwork, I don’t expect it to look good for example. I just let it flow and usually, it is quite surprisingly amazing to me. It seems like I am less attached to it (at least, I try to convince myself with that) so I can go on and create again and again. And again.

I am what I would call a skinned alive person, even if I am so aware that some had/have a way sorst life than mine, it does not dimish it. And I notice it shows in my artwork, despite the bright colors and fluffy bunny style my pieces can seem to be. Maybe I am good at camouflage ?

This portrait is the closer one to be a self-portrait. Kind of. Not a 100% one, obviously. Can you believe this is absolutely not what I thought this artwork will end as ?

When I was a kid, and struggling with who i am and being brown in a white family (where I was born, not adopted), I was dreaming of being blue eyed. Maybe because at least, this will be something people were expecting regarding my first name («Nolwenn» is a name from Britanny, the celtic part of France where people are blonde and pale and blue eyed).

This mixed media portrait is full of texture, the hair are really pretty (in my opinion) as you can touch the three dimensions, the face is not flat at all and the lotus transfer on her shirt pulled some part of the plaster away (makes me think of peeled paint on walls).

I feel naked. But creating this artwork taught me a lot about me: I finally am more in peace with my origins, and what I am (half and half, not really black not totally white); I have to accept that sometimes the outside does not meet the inside but I can work on it; going forward, as simply as that.
Creatively speaking, she taught me that errors happen and can be fixed. Her skin tone was horrible, now she is not realistic but kind of reminds me of the first characters I created a few years ago, with their greyish skin.

I feel like this painting is filled with character, this je ne sais quoi that makes me smile. A happy content smile.

Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you’ll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

Hello !

I am sorry this Gratitude Friday won’t be a long tchat but I am still dealing with constant pain and typing on the computer hurts my shoulder(s), but I really do not want to miss it.

I really hope life is sweet with you.

This week, I am grateful for:

• The help of my husband while I can’t do much because of this stupid pain that decides to stick with me.
• I ordered the plane tickets for my mom visit, so now this is becoming real. Can’t wait to hug her.
• My Art Journal is my savior.
• I noticed how many paintings i am creating and just how the creative juice is just flowing through me. Experimenting, having fun with plaster, speaking my Truth through my Art.
• My friend Anu, always listening and helping. Even when I am so much in psychological and physical pain that being around me is no fun at all. She sticks around and it means the world to me.
• Pixie Campbell‘s kindness.
• Tracey, the owner of Lindy Stamp Gang, believing in my crazy ideas. And making me a refund on my order because I order the day before they shared a coupon for their products. A lot of shop owner would have just said «too bad for you, you’ll get the next coupon». She is so nice.
• What people share on Pinterest. You can find me right there.
• It’s Friday.
• The tv show «River Monsters» we watch at night.
• My body seems not to like me much but as Suzie Ridler told me: «it is important you listen to your pain», so this is what I try to do.
• I am happy to soon be listing new originals paintings in my Etsy shop. You can see the pretty widget with my items in my right sidebar =========>
• Next week, I hope the doc will tell me what’s wrong with me. I am ready to hear what it is, but not ready to be told «we have no idea of what the problem is» So I am praying to be diagnosed with something. I know how crazy this sounds but when all your life the doctors just check and do stuff for a final answer being always the same «we don’t know», I am tired of this.

I wish you a wonderful week-end, stay safe if you are hit by the heat wave (just so you know, of course we are not, here in Vancouver, where it is like November all over again).

Take care

NOTE: I had to share this video and this message with you Lovelies. Because even if I am not gay nor transgender or whatever, but my life was not easy either. And I can say: It gets better.

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don’t forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I’m notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):
[linkme]