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I think I’ll never say too much how my BIG experience is affecting who I am. I am no longer affraid to say that yes, is some way or another, I am an artist.

And I realize that you don’t have to sell artwork that worth billions of money to BE an artist. Even people who don’t paint, or draw, or sculpt, are artists.

Click to enlarge

A few weeks ago, Connie shared a moving text where she declared her artist self. And each of us did the same afterwards. I read so many beautiful statements that tears fell off of my eyes many times.

I wanted more than words, something I can look at when the Gremlins attack and cast doubt about it.

I took a big poster board and just started to create. I had no idea what it’ll be. I just knew I had to do it. So it’s not pretty. It’s not the most beautiful artwork I’ve created. But I like it. Because I am not perfect.

And you know what ? I recorded it, i always keep somewhere in my head what Kerri told me once: “always record, you can always erase if you don’t like it” 😉 Very good advice, isn’t it !

It says:

My Artist Statement.
I am an artist because I say so
I am an artist because I create my life everyday
I am an artist because I feel I am my self whith paint on my hands
I am an artist because I collect art supply instead of shoes
I am an artist because I am BIG & FEARLESS
I am an artist because when I see skies, I imagine them on canvas
I am an artist because I’m proud to keep (tons of) diaries
I am an artist because it flows in my veins
I am an artist because I fill my walls with MY canvases

Of course, this list can go on and on.

I’m sorry, I had some issues while editing the video, it’s not the best quality but I really wanted to share it with you 🙂 Here it is:

PS: there is still room for you in the next tribe of BIG, so have a look, if you want to experience something you’d never imagine so juicy and so life-changing. No need to be an experienced painter to join. Read more about it here.

Mom & Me

My mum was alone to raise me. And I think she really did a great job, it was not easy; after all.
We have a kind of “fusionnal” relationship but we both know that the other needs some space. I miss her so much since we’re living in Canada; she went to visit us during five weeks this summer and I never thought it will go so fast.
It was her birthday on July 4th, so I wanted to create something meaningful just for her. Something she can look at and think of me. Even if I’m far away geographically. Something that would remind her how much I love her and she’ll always be in my heart, every seconds of every minutes of every day.

The canvas was, I think, 16×20, but I’m not that sure about it, but it was quite big (it had to fit her luggage ;)).

I changed it slightly while she was here, before offering it to her. Because the character reprensenting me didn’t have a mouth or a nose, and during 3 weeks she was telling me it was the only thing she didn’t like about my Girls, she didn’t understand why they only have eyes (but I DO know why they don’t) so I added it subtly.

This finished and final one is the third I tried. The two I started before just wasn’t what I was expected. It took me something like a year to really succeed in the idea and design (I don’t know why, maybe i was too attached too it, I put too much pressure on this, so I was blocked).
I wanted it colourful.
I wanted the image to speak for itself.

And when I gave it to her on her birthday, she really liked it, and told me she’ll hang it on her bedroom wall so only her could see it, because it’s between her and me.

Here are some close-ups, click to enlarge:

It’s absolutely not perfect, but I like it as it is 🙂

If you follow me on Twitter, you have noticed that I was close to throw my computer away yesterday… and nearly reached a state of nervous breakdown because of my video not uploading on YouTube. After 4 failed attempt and nealry 24 hours lost, I uploaded it on Vimeo (I don’t give up on YouTube but now it can wait) !

As you may know, my World lately turn around a few things, and the BIG eclass is one of them. We are at the end of the second weak together and I already feel like I belong with them. It’s something I realize I was unconsciously seeking.

Yes, you may think that I am totally obsessed with this class but Connie was right when she told me “I feel it’s what you need and it will change you” (not exactly with these words but the essence is there); and YES I am obsessed. I dream BIG, I wake up thinking on the next step, I feel BIGger and accept it easily.
Being BIG is not only about painting BIG. It is about (for me) accepting that you can do whatever your heart is calling, you can be whoever you wanna be. You deserve it. You are enough. You are worthy. You are beautiful the way you are.

So I wanted to really become fearless. I am a young woman that let fears guide her too many time. I take control now but I still feel overwhelmed by these doubts and fears and “what if…”.
I was willing to film videos of me making my Art Journal, Painting etc for something like a year, but the fear always kept me from it (“your voice is awful” “how would you do as people read your blog in French and others read you in English” “you are fat and ugly and not pleasant to watch”……).
I went through that and just set my camera so you don’t see my face and that’s it. After all, it’s what most of art journalers do on their videos. Mine is simple: it was the first one EVER. But I really really enjoyed the process, and the editing with my husband who helped me a lot. I want to do more 😉

So… here it is. I am going BIG and FEARLESS:

Here is what it looks like:

PS: I finally succeeded in uploading it on YouTube, in the power of letting go I trust 😉

In this week prompt, Jamie precises that we can see it two ways: financially or otherwise. What do you wish to invest in ?

For me, it will be both financially AND otherwise.

For about two weeks now, I think a lot about creating my own “business” regarding my art and what I love to do, guiding people who wants to. It’s something I already had in mind, but the Universe put some HUGE signs on my way lately. I just cannot ignore them.

I wish to invest in my Dream to become a guide, a healer, an artist. A mix of all these.

It means I’ll have to invest money, for marketing, for supply, later for an office (kinda).
I started concretely yesterday, by signing in for Kelly Rae Roberts first online workshop: Flying Lessons. I invite you to check it out if you’re like me: wanting to make a living from your passion, avoiding current mistakes and learning some useful basis.

I know I can do it, I have a total faith in this project even if at this time, it is still a little bit blurry, the clouds are being pulled away one after the other.
It’s the right time for me to seriously think about it and take things in hands. And I am not in a rush, I want to do it right and properly.

I wish to invest time, and Love, and courage for the achievement of this dream project.

I talked briefly about it in yesterday’s Wishcasting Wednesday article.
I recently finished an artwork I REALLY like. I know it may not please everybody, but I don’t care now, because it’s what my Soul wanted me to create and I went for it without hesitation (or almost).

I told you that its title came while I was writing my wish: daring chasing for my Dream no matter what people think, no matter what my Gremlins told me, no matter what I may fear.

How many times did you think that you were too dreamy ? that you were dreaming too big ? that you were not worthy for achieving this particular dream you had ? that is was too big for you but not for someone else ?

AND how many times somebody (a friend ? a family member ? a teacher ? a boss ?… the list is endless) that you will never succeed making a living from this passion, that it was too time consuming, that it was a waste of time, or whatever negative talk possible ?

I’d like just to remind you that YOU ARE WORTHY (oh I typed “your art worthy, oops ;)). It is never too late; you can achieve your dream at any age.

I am nearly 25. I really started created like… 5 years ago. And just for fun because I wanted to paint something to decorate our appartment, and then the passion grew bigger and bigger.
When I look at this artwork, I think “I found my Voice & my Style“. And it reminds me that yes, I am a dreamer, but I’m not the only one (heehee) and that it’s never too late to dream big. And that it’s not because it’s not conventional that it worths less than somebody else’s artwork.

Of course, I’d love to sell my artwork and to make someone else’s heart sing with it… I’d lie saying I don’t care about this point.

Do you chase for your Dream(s) ? What blocks you to do so, if not ?
Take some time to think about it…

And here is the whole artwork (it’s measures 16×20 inches) (the photo is not good, I’ll ask my husband to take a better one asap):

NOTE: I hesitate drawing her a mouth or not… if I do, it’ll be a “stiched” mouth, not a “real” mouth. I like what my Husband told me “does she not have a mouth because everything happens in her own mind ??” 😉