If you follow me on Twitter, you have noticed that I was close to throw my computer away yesterday… and nearly reached a state of nervous breakdown because of my video not uploading on YouTube. After 4 failed attempt and nealry 24 hours lost, I uploaded it on Vimeo (I don’t give up on YouTube but now it can wait) !
As you may know, my World lately turn around a few things, and the BIG eclass is one of them. We are at the end of the second weak together and I already feel like I belong with them. It’s something I realize I was unconsciously seeking.
Yes, you may think that I am totally obsessed with this class but Connie was right when she told me “I feel it’s what you need and it will change you” (not exactly with these words but the essence is there); and YES I am obsessed. I dream BIG, I wake up thinking on the next step, I feel BIGger and accept it easily.
Being BIG is not only about painting BIG. It is about (for me) accepting that you can do whatever your heart is calling, you can be whoever you wanna be. You deserve it. You are enough. You are worthy. You are beautiful the way you are.
So I wanted to really become fearless. I am a young woman that let fears guide her too many time. I take control now but I still feel overwhelmed by these doubts and fears and “what if…”.
I was willing to film videos of me making my Art Journal, Painting etc for something like a year, but the fear always kept me from it (“your voice is awful” “how would you do as people read your blog in French and others read you in English” “you are fat and ugly and not pleasant to watch”……).
I went through that and just set my camera so you don’t see my face and that’s it. After all, it’s what most of art journalers do on their videos. Mine is simple: it was the first one EVER. But I really really enjoyed the process, and the editing with my husband who helped me a lot. I want to do more 😉
So… here it is. I am going BIG and FEARLESS:
Here is what it looks like:
PS: I finally succeeded in uploading it on YouTube, in the power of letting go I trust 😉