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If you are a long-time reader of my blog, you know I used to share with you, every Friday, a list of what I am grateful for. I also was inviting you to spend some time in reflection and comment about your own gratitude list. I did it for 7 years.

But because I was getting tired and frustrated of inviting readers without getting any response, I stopped the blog series (I am still doing daily gratitude list in my journals, though). I know, I know…..

You can read more my thoughts and why I started this ritual right there.

But today… today I feel the weight of the World. And when in pain, when it all feels too much, I take some time to go inward and look at the bright side. Seeing the glass half full does not mean burying your head in the sand, it is essential to know where you actually direct your energy (and your thoughts are energy, Loves. Truly).

This week, I am grateful for:

✮ The return of the Sun
✮ The day spent with my Mom and my Brother-In-Law in Montréal yesterday
✮ The love of my Husband
✮ The new tattoo I will have inked in October. Another story on my body.
✮ Getting back on track with my nutrition.
✮ Going to Orange Theory fitness 3+ times week with my Husband.
✮ Looking into going back to University.
✮ The daily Reiki I receive from my friend Alli.
✮ My friend Angélique who gets me so well and share my tattoo obsession.
✮ Our Rami nights.

What about you ? I am curious: do you have a Gratitude List ritual as well ? Is it a daily, weekly thing ? Right now, what are you thankful for ?

It’s been a few years already since I decided I wanted to Heal my Wounds. Those of the Heart & those of the Soul. Those I made to myself and those people inflicted on me.

These last ones are maybe the tougher because they ask for an action of somebody other of myself. At least, it is the case for me, because I need to understand what happened in order to accept and then go on.

The major issue is that 9 times out of 10, those people are not even in our circle anymore… So the work takes much more time than it could, and because I am aware that we should not base anything on suppositions and “IFs” it sometimes seems impossible.

And then… PSCHHH these persons come back one day, and you don’t know neither why nor how. You can then decide: welcome them, or reject them.

It’s while I was talking to one of these persons that I finally knew something I carried for too long in me: why am I seen as a fragile breakable girl that needs to be protected. And realized other persons felt that way about me as well.

Creating is what helps me release the pain. It does not completely heal the trauma (I guess I should see a therapist for that) but it helps a great deal. Art is a safe space to explore the tensions so I can set them free.

And creativity can be anything, really, for me it can take the form of free writing (dumping every.single.thing that’s on my mind in a journal. I still do it pen on paper, even though my brain usually goes way too fast for my hand to follow). It can pour it out onto a canvas, building up secret messages under layers and layers of paint. Or playing with colors in my art journals, hiding symbols and thoughts.

This is how I have faith in my future. Because I survived my demons and because I am conquering my fears.

How do you face your demons ?

Something I find really difficult to come up with is an artist bio. I am always wondering why the fuck would somebody be interested in who I am and in what I do.
However, I love lists (like… crazy), this is why I found it easier to describe myself in a list of things than actual boring paragraphs.

For a long time, I thought that art was just an escape route for me. Some place safer than my own mind, pouring everything in a painting, in a journal or whatever form it decided to take on a specific moment in my life. But the years are passing and art is becoming more than that.

I want and need to focus on the positive side of having a creative mind.

So there we go, my always in-progress Artist Credo:

I believe in the power of creativity itself.
I believe art can help us heal the deepest oldest wounds.
I believe we all have a creative voice, no matter how it decides to express itself.
I believe we don’t have to share anything we create if we don’t want to.
I believe artists should pull each other up instead of feeling competitive.
I believe creativity has many faces.
I believe we can be original and quirky, because I believe art is a safe place.
I believe in all the possibilities art offers.
I believe in hidden symbols and stories.
I believe in the power given by creativity.
I believe in all that art convey and the subjectivity of it.
I believe in experimentation.
I believe in never-ending inspiration, coming from everywhere.
I believe we can re-invent ourselves through art.
I believe in the cracks, the hurt, the open wounds we pour into our art form.

I love Blue, almost all shades of it. I wanted to try a monochromatic pour while leaving a negative space, so it would not be overwhelming. I have an obsession with negative/blank space in the abstract paintings I am making right now, so I hope you won’t get fed up with them.

If you are not familiar with it, a dirty pour is layering prepared colors into one cup before pouring it on your surface (I have made other videos on my channel, if you’re curious).

I used ColourArte‘s Primary Elements pigment powders for my colors because they are highly pigmented and I just adore their shimmer ! The blues I picked do not belong to the same families (one is a greenish teal, one is a very dark blue, and the last one a pale blue) so I was really curious to see how they would work together. White is always a safe color to pick to go with any other one.

If you watched my previous {Painting In Motion} video, you saw me blow on my wet paint to control how the colors were meeting the “negative space” one. I did this a little on this canvas as well, and love how it turned out.

PRODUCTS USED for this project:

• COOL WATER – Primary Elements
• MYSTIQUE – Primary Elements
• GO NAVY – Primary Elements
• Clear Enamel
• White acrylic paint
• Pouring Medium
• Stretched canvas

I have been thinking a lot lately about if I still want to make a career out of painting, or if I should just paint for my own pleasure, and sell the resulting art if someone feels called to welcome it in their home. It comes back to my latest blogpost about probably going back to school, even if it is over a 3-year full time period.

I am an intuitive person. After a decade of shutting down my Inner Voices and doing what I thought was the right things to do (meaning the things that were not bringing joy or excitement but that an adult should be doing anyway), I was fed up with how unfulfillment was inhabiting me. So it needed to change, I needed to go back to intuition guiding me. I will be honest: it was not easy. Shutting it for so long, it was not my normal anymore. But I got there by trusting I was a worthy person.

When I started my mixed media journey around 2008, I was so stressed out by messing everything up that I was planning every inch of my canvases, sketching before painting etc. 9 years later, I go with the flow. I start with a seed (it can be an intention, a word or a quote, a feeling I wish to convey) and see where it leads me. I believe that my paintings have a life of their own and that I am just the tool to bring them to life. 

I am a Virgo, so I guess this all makes sense somehow (to me anyway). I am an intuitive planner (yes, I totally made that up). I need to know where I am going but to let it all come to me as well. Talk to me about being a living paradox…

One of the shift I want to focus on in the last months of this year is to get rid of all the “should”. I can’t keep up with them anymore, so it is time to say goodbyes, thank you for your service, hopefully we won’t meet again too soon :p

Do you, too, live in the land of Should ? What’s keeping you there ? I welcome any tip to help me out.

As a bonus for today, a video from one of my favorite singer: