Inner Voices
28Jun/122

5 Truths, inspired by Julie Fei-Fan Balzer

You know I am a huge fan of hers. Not long ago, she shared 5 of her Truths and invited her readers to share theirs.

Truth is one of my favorite subjects. I love how it is different for me than it is for you, that there are «Universal Truth-es» in the World. I am working hard at accepting mine and sharing them along in my paintings, and when I was younger putting them on paper in depressing proses.

Here are 5 Truths (for me):

  1. Listening to music makes everything better.

  2. I did not become a professional Chef but food is a huge part of my life.

  3. Painting with my fingers never fails to make me happy.

  4. I am both Light and Dark.

  5. Texture is everything.

Your time now, what are 5 Truths you wanna share with us ?

15Jun/1211

New {Painting In Motion} video: Sonya

Ok, as you may know I jumped on the train and signed up for the live version of Mindy Lacefield (from Tim's Sally)'s online class «Paint Your Story».
I committed this year to really be careful when deciding about a class I wanted to take. Because honestly, last year I signed up for way too much classes, did not follow properly most of them and so it felt like I was wasting my money.

I often speak about how I feel like something is missing in my artwork, how something is kinda off. All of my Nixies have a story to share, but I was feeling like writing paragraphs of them was boring (I am bored very easily). I was lost and confused and needed direction.

This is what I found in «Paint Your Story». A new way to tell my stories, to fill my art with my own symbols and non sense and wildness. It helped me to accept that it does not have to look perfect to be meaningful, that a face does not have to actually look like a real face to be expressive. Acceptance is the key (I should count how many times I've written you that mantra in here ! ;) ).

I will tell you more about them, but I have now a new... genre of painting, that I am calling «the Sprixies» (thank you Anu for spending time with me brainstorming to come up with this name). They are not human looking neither beast like, they are something totally different. I know I am just chanelling whatever comes. Maybe are they from a different Universe than ours ? Who knows ! Each have a strength to share.
And I would have not dare sharing them without what this online class opened for me.

So... back to Sonya :)

I created her on a 11x14" canvas board. I used color I don't use much like this red *Pyrrole red* for example. But love how it came together. From Chaos comes Calm.
I had lots of fun seeing her emerge from it. But at first, I was a bit confused by the paradox between the sadness I feel coming from her and the message she gives: PLAY.

And after thinking of it deeper, I realized that her message is more than that. She is there to show me (you) that no matter how sad you are, no matter how beaten by life you feel, if you keep a sense of playing, it will be better. Lighter on your Heart. Don't let the dark part of you take over, give it some love because it needs it for sure, acknowledge its presence inside of you, but know that it does not define you entirely.

About the video... I finally was able to record a voice over, not without sweat and hair pulling (I am blessed with a wonderful husband who can help me when it comes to technical computer stuff). It makes me really nervous to speak on a video but i did it. FEARLESS I am. Uh.

So here it is:

If you have questions, and/or want to know more about the supplies I used, just tell me :)

28May/123

10 random things, #1

My dear friend Anu asked me to blog about 10 random things you might not know about me, as she did on her blog.
You know how much I love making lists about everything and anything ;)

  1. I am Metis. But this term has a different meaning here in North America than it has in France though (you would say «biracial» when we use the word «metis»). I don't consider myself «Black». But I definately am not «White» either. I have a hard time fitting in a racial box.
  2. I love eating a banana with Nutella. Mix discovered in middle school from my bff at this time.
  3. I have a focusing issue and it is impossible for me to do/concentrate on one or two things only. I scatter a lot.
  4. I have an obsession for my totem animals: owl, raven, whale, elephant.
  5. I have a book project started since a few years now.
  6. I have lots of artists crushes. And when it happens I tend to stalk everything they do.
  7. My best friends are scattered all over the globe, and despite technology I feel desperately lonely most of the time. I would love/need local girlfriends.
  8. I did one year of music theory, and hated it but was the best of my class. My teacher told my mom I was a «natural». But I did not have the chance to actually learn how to play an instrument. And for months it has been quite bothering me somehow. I really want to learn how to play the drums, and piano. There is something with rythm that obsesses me.
  9. I love love love finding an handwritten card/letter in the mail, and to receive packages.
  10. I have a passion for tattoos. I have a few and always think of the next one(s). That said, they have to have a symbolic and special meaning for me. I had my first tattoo when I was 15-16, and my mom was with me when I was getting inked.

Your turn ! tell me random stuff I don't know about you, I want to get to know my readers :) If you blog about it, please feel free to come back with your link.

20Apr/121

It’s all gonna be ok

Stamping letter by letter has something kinda meditative.

I needed to calm my mind so it was the perfect technique yesterday, after what was maybe one of the mat stressful day of our life.

20120420-082921.jpg

19Apr/124

Am I what I paint ?

This is a question that comes a lot to me lately. It has always popped now and then but it's been in the back of my mind for a while now so I guess it's time for me to acknowledge it and dig (I usually proceed this way ;) ).

Am I what I paint ?
Am I what I create?
Am I what I think?
Am I what I feel ?

I don't think I hold the answer yet because sometimes it bends toward a "of course I am what I create" and others I absolutely want the answer to be a "no".

There is a part of me in every single thing that comes from me, and this is obvious. I used to be a very pessimistic teen/young adult; always seeing what could go wrong first and focusing on that instead of trying to shift it. It is who I was and I don't deny it. It occasionally still shows through my art in my journals.

My universe is filled with strange creatures and characters having a life of their own. Tim Burton captures very well what it looks like in my mind most of the time. But my Universe is also filled with colors and shapes and symbols that are way brighter.
Paradoxical ? Of course. I guess it's not a coincidence I was born under the astral sign of the Virgo, which is a very double-sided sign.

Sometimes, I am doing something and suddenly I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach and can't breathe anymore, and all the negativity I felt in my past comes back in, in a rush. And it hurts like Hell. All the fears and worries I constantly push away decide to hit me in the face. Journaling and painting helps me to make it go away.
I used to fight this darker side of me until I realized it was totally vain and that the best solution was to accept it (yes, it all goes back to acceptance again). Creativity is the only way I found to be helpful, even on the long term.

This blogpost makes no sense and I apologize for this. I guess I just have to work this through and thought sharing it with you might help. Please, feel free to tell me what you think.

Are you totally dettached from what you create ? Do you think you are what you paint and you paint what you are ?

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