You know how I keep saying this Truth: «I can not draw». I were never able to draw anything near to realistic, and kept holding on that. Not that I don’t feel down when someone I don’t know thinks one of my painting was made by my 7 or my 5 year old kid, but this was my Truth: «I can not draw». So for years I have been making the most of it with my Nixies and other Sprixies, and love it.
However, since I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia in the summer of 2011, I am not able to paint every single day like I used to. So my alternatives are doing something in my art journal (because I can do that on my couch), and since not so long ago, keeping a sketchbook. Isn’t it paradoxical to use a sketchbook when you don’t draw ? I thought so too, to be honest with you. But I went for it anyway, because I am the kind of person to always push the limits further.
As I’ve told you, I have been experiencing quite a big existential crisis about me, about who I want to be as an artist, about the fact that «I am not there yet». Knowing where you want to be in your professional career but not seeing the steps to get you there is very hard; it is something I have been dealing with for a decade or so (the «there» had changed several times during that lapse).
It resulted in an «empty inspiration well», and me not painting nor doing almost anything in my studio for more than a month. Which never happened before. Never.
Some of the things that are created in my sketchbook are meant to stay as they are: sketches. Some I love more, I carry the hope to give them life on a full painting (if you recall my process, you know that I don’t start a painting with a plan in mind. So that would bring me back in time when I started it all). This is what happened for my OwlCtopus. She was a sunnyafternoononthebalcony sketch, and became a 11×14″ mixed media painting.
I hope that this guy on the left will become a beautiful painting on his own as well.
Click to enlarge
You know what I really like doing ? Sketching while watching TV or while listening to music. I can catch shapes, ideas, faces.
This is when I finally can let go of my perfectionism and just get my hand moving. Not looking for creation anything in particular, just getting it onto the paper.
The sketches on the right were done almost in the dark, while watching The Return of the King (the third installment of The Lord of the Ring trilogy). Yo ucan see how imperfect it is, but i just don’t care, I was looking for a simple sketch showing the bigger eyes on a face, and I loved Saruman’s wand design and I wanted also to see how i could draw a male face, as I exclusively draw female characters for now.
My Truth about sketching is that it’s the perfect tool for me when I am in too much pain for anything else creatively.
My Truth about sketching is that quick and simple is good, too.
My Truth about sketching is that in a few years from now, as it is for my art journals, I will love having plenty of sketchbooks to look into.
My Truth about sketching is that with a bit of perseverance, I could draw…
Here are a few other examples of my sketches, just because (click to enlarge):
What about you, do you have a sketchbook ? How is it different than you Art journal ?
“Knowing where you want to be in your professional career but not seeing the steps to get you there is very hard; it is something I have been dealing with for a decade or so (the «there» had changed several times during that lapse).”
Nolwenn. Oh Sister. That could have been me writing/typing/saying those words!! I so so so relate.
Looking at your sketches? I’d say it’s time to reprogram your reality. You CAN draw! Which means perhaps I need to look at the areas where I have been saying “I can’t…” and reprogram MYSELF too.
Sending you so much Love for this journey! Glad we can share it together.
Bisous.