It’s Friday babeeeeeh ! And as of magic, my heart feels lighter today than it had felt all week (I guess that pausing to write my Gratitude Friday blogpost did help quite a bit).
I notice that keeping everything in the Studio has me to actually step into the Studio so no excuse for not lingering there a bit longer and actually work/play/paint.
Because, even after years selling my art and being guest here and there as a teacher, I am still comparing too much to what other do, and how I think they run their business and this blah and that blah… I decided one thing: play and bring the joy back. Not to sell, not to make people but myself happy. To define myself more as an artist. To push these edges more and more. To find that there is actually no edge to what I can bring to life.
I told you in previous vlogs that I can be very good at finding excuses for myself. And not bringing to life some of my biggest dream is often evolving around one same story I tell myself: I can not draw. My nearly 8yo draws better than I do, it is in her, was never in me. But I can teach myself. I can draw the shit of what is in my mind until it does look like the Universe in my mind and the images that swirl in there. I do not have to live into a world of frustration.
I’m kind of excited about turning 30 too! At first I hated it because I feel like I should have accomplished something by then. But now I’m glad to turn 30 just so I don’t have to be in my “twenties” anymore!
(I think maybe people don’t take 20-29 year old people as seriously? I don’t know)
Also I think you would enjoy a drawing class if you could get to one… your daughters will probably learn faster because they have people giving them instruction and forcing them out of their “comfort zones” every day (or at least they will in high school) a little like what Suzi Blu is saying in her strange “Suffering” video ( http://youtu.be/Is01o35P7qM ).
There are so many artists who make a living without being able to draw perfectly, and focus on shapes and colour like you do. But if drawing is something you really want to develop, prepare for a lot of boredom! Frustration is usually a good sign!
Je me reconnais encore et encore dans ton histoire ! Quand je rentre dans mon atelier c’est juste pour moi pour me sentir mieux pour me retrouver ou me trouver tout court… Mais mon mari (aussi) dit que je dois produire poue vendre… ppppffffffff Bien sûr vendre mes produits dans les boutiques me permet de pouvoir acheter de l’autre matos pour pouvoir créer encore mais si j’en retire aucun plaisir quelqu’il soit alors je préfère fermer la porte de mon atelier et ne rien faire… :/ c’est pour cela que j’ai des périodes où je me sens complètement lazy 😛 Si ton voeu le plus cher est d’enseigner lance toi parce que tu n’es pas n’importe quel poisson dans le grand océan tu sais… je ne serais pas “tombée” sur toi si c’était le cas 😛