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Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you’ll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.

Hello !

I know… I know. It’s been a long long time since I took the time to write here my Gratitude Friday. However, I’ve been thinking a lot about what being grateful means to me, and how to teach it to my girls. I have been implemeting it further in my life, linking it with my compulsive buying habit (regarding art supplies and stuff like that). Appreciating everything I already have, and thanking the Universe when I do have the possibility to get what I want. Pondering before buying, «do I really need that, or am I fulfilling another thing by wanting this RIGHT NOW ?». It’s been moving in my inner life…

So here is my Gratitude Friday, right now I am grateful for:

• My birthday day, as my husband was able to get his day off from work to be with me, and my birthday is during the two busiest and more stressful weeks for him at work (EA Sports’ launch of the FIFA game). We had a lunch date, and it was perfect. Thanks a lot to those of you who took time to celebrate it on my Facebook wall ♥♥♥
• I am enjoying writing and sending letters to dear ones. I hope I will get some snail mail as well.
• My friend Anu, who loves me even when she does not understand me, who supports me no matter what. And always tells me the bloody truth when I am falling apart.
• P!nk’s newest album, «The Truth About Love», which is just one of my favorite from her so far.
• Inspiration everywhere.
• I began sketching, like for real. Which is out of my comfort zone and was not at all in my habits. I love putting on paper, in a place where I am not obliged to share with anybody, Nixies, Sprixies and whatever appears in my mind. And maybe some of the characters that are discovered in my sketchbook will come to life in a painting, who knows.
• Melissa, from YellowMelle, came to play with me in my Creative Hollow. We managed to be two on my tiny work table. She created an amazing painting while she was there ! (see below)
• Our neighbors. The girls can play with the other kids. We are learning to know each others. I hope to become friends with some of them, as we are all here for at least a decade I guess.
• My brother Thomas, who called me, who thinks of me sometimes. Even if we have never met yet. He got married last week and I am so sad I missed it.
• The chance of having a good Health Insurance so I can have the meds I need for my fibromyalgia shit, and the exams I need.
• Still having big dreams sprouting in my Heart.
• Not giving up. Even if I was that close to give up, I am sticking to painting.
• Noticing how much I love taking everyday life pictures. I wish I would have taken notes during the YAYOM workshop of Vivienne McMaster.
• I posted a new {Painting In Motion} video, and making these makes me really happy.

If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don’t forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I’m notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):
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Click to enlarge

I believe so deeply that everything we experience comes with a great lesson for us to learn. A positive outcome to a sticky situation. HOWEVER, when I find myself in the midst of an existential crisis, I don’t see it; I am like totally blinded by all common reason (you know, when you realize how easier it is when you are the one talking your friend out of the same kind of crisis but when you are the one in it, it seems so much more difficult ?? yea, this is what I am talking about.). Sometimes because I just don’t want to, sometimes because I am not quite ready yet for it.
If you follow me on Facebook, you know how I find prophecies from songs’ lyrics, or books opened randomly or kinda whatever. A fw days ago, I discovered that p!nk was releasing lyrics videos for her new album coming up next week.
You have to know how I roll: my prophecies do not have to be a whole song. Sometimes it’s just a line, taken out of the context. This is what happened. Just the line «You gotta get up and try and try and try» from her song «Try» was standing out. It was my message, the thing I needed to hear right at that precise moment. So I get down in my Creative Hollow (ie. my art studio) and simply played on canvases, not knowing what to do, just doing it. That was it, I just got there and I am taking each minute actively spent in my studio as a victory against the silly thoughts trying to impose themselves as Truths in my Head and in my Heart.

I identified what was making it so hard to paint, to create anything. My Mind and my Heart are were in conflict about who I am as an Artist. About my Path in the creative Universe. I compare myself too much even if I know it is suicidal. Your thoughts can be your worst enemy. After a whole day of being litterally plagued by them, in about every areas of my life, I know that the thoughts have to change.

It’s been approximately a month since I’ve painted. Oh I have been discovering new creative worlds though ! I have been making bracelets (I still want to learn the metal stamping thing, but the material is very very expensive for something that would only be a hobby).
And I fell in the Project Life rabbit hole; bought the starter stuff (core kit, photo pockets…) and my Selphy printer has been put in good use finally. If you are not familiar with it, Project Life is a photography project where you document your everyday life in a photo album (for those of you who do digital scrapbooking, you can do that too). I have a family album and one for each girl so they’ll be able to take the album(s) with them when they’ll leave us. I understand now when my mom told me that scrapbooking takes a lot of space in your house (and i don’t use embellishments and stuff yet, just the basics for now, to get my hands on the whole process). It’s fun and I love browsing through the pages. AND it made me realize how much I do love taking photos, and playing with them in Photoshop…

This creative emptiness is not an emptiness after all… my attention has been brought from painting and Mixed Media to other centers of interest. It does not mean I will never paint again (at least I don’t think so). Just that for now, I may have needed something else without knowing it.

I am learning that there are many faces to creativity as long as I stay opened to them.
I am learning that in somes cases, a trend is justified.
I am learning that having a close support circle rocks. Even when it hurts.
I am learning that loving what you do is essential to your happiness. And to your success.
I am learning that comparison is suicidal. Really, it is.
I am learning that inspiration is awesome. Until you go overload with it and do nothing.
I am learning that I have to keep a momentum going.
I am learning that shift and evolution in what I do is not a shame. It’s part of everything.
I am learning that the past is the past, everything can lie in it but I can go away from it too.

September 5th, 2012

It’s funny how a little change can make such a difference.
I changed my nostril piercing jewel at the beginning of the week. It was something I’ve been wanting to do for months but it was never the right time. I’ve ALWAYS had a gem, always; ok, the color was sometimes blue, sometimes a diamond but still. And for months now, I was talking with my husband about getting a ring. A simple small ring instead. Not something that would make me look like a bull (yes Mom, I know this is what you are/were thinking).

I am slowly but surely getting where I wanna be with my body. Making more or less important changes, taking decisions I have been avoiding, shutting up the voices telling me it’s pointless because I will never get there, because it’s too late now and that the damages are done. Opening the doors to the voices telling me that it’s okay to cry when I look at myself naked in the mirror, not recognizing this. I always say to my friends and to my close family «If you don’t like it, change it. Or stop complaining about it.» So here I am.

And this little change on my face means a lot more to me than it seems…

What direction ?

I am still working on this blogpost that I started weeks ago. I am.

It’s also been weeks since I really painted. I did work in my Art Journal but that is kinda it. I don’t know what to do (this is a recurrent theme in my life).
I feel totally lost. Confused. I feel like I am fighting, whatever it is (Fear, Indecision, Sadness). I feel alone, and lonely; even if I know deeply I am not really.

This is not the first time I have plenty of weird thoughts, questioning my path, my career (if we can call that this way…), myself. But it does not last that long.

So I am pushing my limits, trying some new things in my art. And see where that goes…

I have one or two blogposts I began writing weeks ago. But they are taking longer than planned to be finished, maybe I still need to clarify my thoughts before sharing them with you.

Just for fun, I was thinking «Why not sharing 10 other random things about me ?» so there we are 🙂

1. I love nail polish, and I am happy to see that funky colors are back in the trend.
2. I suck at naming things. BUT I loved the name searching phase during my pregnancies, I have a passion for first names.
3. I wish I was a scrapbooker.
4. I love love LOVE quotes. And keep a file on my computer with plenty of them.
5. Once (for a long time), I had this dream of publishing a book. Not any book, but kind of my Mémoires.
6. I get lost in my mind pretty easily. Sometimes it scares my husband a bit.
7. I enjoy celebrating birthdays, making them extra special. And love when my close family does the same when mine comes.
8. I dream of flying or gliding in some way, like with a parachute or something. To see if it feels the same than when I fly in the dreams I have when asleep.
9. I heart creepy cute things.
10. I live in a very rainy part of the World and moved here anyway, knowing it wouldn’t be that good for my health.

Please, share with us random things about yourself if you want ;D

PS: I am working on getting these articles published. And share new art I have been making. While waiting, why not hang over on my Facebook Page so we can stay in touch ?