I believe so deeply that everything we experience comes with a great lesson for us to learn. A positive outcome to a sticky situation. HOWEVER, when I find myself in the midst of an existential crisis, I don’t see it; I am like totally blinded by all common reason (you know, when you realize how easier it is when you are the one talking your friend out of the same kind of crisis but when you are the one in it, it seems so much more difficult ?? yea, this is what I am talking about.). Sometimes because I just don’t want to, sometimes because I am not quite ready yet for it.
If you follow me on Facebook, you know how I find prophecies from songs’ lyrics, or books opened randomly or kinda whatever. A fw days ago, I discovered that p!nk was releasing lyrics videos for her new album coming up next week.
You have to know how I roll: my prophecies do not have to be a whole song. Sometimes it’s just a line, taken out of the context. This is what happened. Just the line «You gotta get up and try and try and try» from her song «Try» was standing out. It was my message, the thing I needed to hear right at that precise moment. So I get down in my Creative Hollow (ie. my art studio) and simply played on canvases, not knowing what to do, just doing it. That was it, I just got there and I am taking each minute actively spent in my studio as a victory against the silly thoughts trying to impose themselves as Truths in my Head and in my Heart.
I identified what was making it so hard to paint, to create anything. My Mind and my Heart
are were in conflict about who I am as an Artist. About my Path in the creative Universe. I compare myself too much even if I know it is suicidal. Your thoughts can be your worst enemy. After a whole day of being litterally plagued by them, in about every areas of my life, I know that the thoughts have to change.
It’s been approximately a month since I’ve painted. Oh I have been discovering new creative worlds though ! I have been making bracelets (I still want to learn the metal stamping thing, but the material is very very expensive for something that would only be a hobby).
And I fell in the Project Life rabbit hole; bought the starter stuff (core kit, photo pockets…) and my Selphy printer has been put in good use finally. If you are not familiar with it, Project Life is a photography project where you document your everyday life in a photo album (for those of you who do digital scrapbooking, you can do that too). I have a family album and one for each girl so they’ll be able to take the album(s) with them when they’ll leave us. I understand now when my mom told me that scrapbooking takes a lot of space in your house (and i don’t use embellishments and stuff yet, just the basics for now, to get my hands on the whole process). It’s fun and I love browsing through the pages. AND it made me realize how much I do love taking photos, and playing with them in Photoshop…
This creative emptiness is not an emptiness after all… my attention has been brought from painting and Mixed Media to other centers of interest. It does not mean I will never paint again (at least I don’t think so). Just that for now, I may have needed something else without knowing it.
I am learning that there are many faces to creativity as long as I stay opened to them.
I am learning that in somes cases, a trend is justified.
I am learning that having a close support circle rocks. Even when it hurts.
I am learning that loving what you do is essential to your happiness. And to your success.
I am learning that comparison is suicidal. Really, it is.
I am learning that inspiration is awesome. Until you go overload with it and do nothing.
I am learning that I have to keep a momentum going.
I am learning that shift and evolution in what I do is not a shame. It’s part of everything.
I am learning that the past is the past, everything can lie in it but I can go away from it too.