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Welcome to this new Gratitude Friday! Feel free to share with me your (partial or full) gratitude moments in the comments; that way I can hold joy for you ✿ (you know that makes me happy to make you happy).

This week has been strange for me over here. I am happy it’s Friday even though I tend to get anxious when comes the late afternoon at work (people want me to make them some Thai food on demand, and I still hate that part). I had an anxiety burst yesterday and it was plain awful. It started with that “something awful is bound to happen, I can feel it” thought, out of the blue; but it came with nausea, tears behind my eyes and that gigantic ball in my throat… I cried during my lunch break and just wanted to run home and hide under the covers. I hate it because there is no rational reason for it because I have zero control over it but wait for it to pass.

This week, I am thankful for:

• Lemon balm tincture, paired with skullcap tincture. Daily
• Publishing not one but two videos this week
• Being back at working out every day, I started a new fitness program
• Finally losing more weight, so my bones get some relief
• Your comments
• Time spent in my ArtCave
• My support system
• Words by others that make me feel less alone. In books, songs, whatever
• That deep desire to change
• Days off from work, even though the side hustle makes it impossible to really rest my mind

This week’s soundtrack

This is the perfect song to sum up my week… The “you” is actually herself and it makes so much sense and it is all said so beautiful. One of my favourite song from her (and you know I’m obsessed with Billie Eilish)
And because I love understanding songs, even though sometimes it’s good to make it what you need. And I loved hearing her explain what I thought was the meaning of the song. There you go:

I recently joined a Facebook group created by the talented Tina Walker called “The Fuckin’ Badassery Art Journalers“.
As you might know by now, my Soul Whisper this year is Unapologetic. And if there is something you should get about myself is that I am not afraid of swear words. Because they help release some pressure. Because, I have to admit, sometimes I just want to get it out and they help.
When I was a senior in high school, my best friend and I had this saying “fuck them all”. It sums up our last two years of high school pretty well… but that’s for an other story 😉

Art Journal flip-through:

The journal in images:

I have been working more in my art journals again and I am very happy to share a new {Art Journaling In Motion} video with you today.
I am using my handmade easy journal, as it has a fun size and contains few pages. Do you know the pressure of completing an art journal? I do.

On this page, I wanted colours and texture. I wanted it to feel what Gratitude feels like to me. It might appear to be random, but nothing was.
For example, the crackles represent the fact that we often turn to Gratitude when Life falls apart. As a coping mechanism of some sorts; instead of it being a “normal” daily mindset.

If you were to paint your Gratitude, what would it look like?
I hope you enjoyed this video, and I’d love to know what you’d like to see next on my channel, I am open to suggestions in the comments 😉

Welcome to this new Gratitude Friday! Feel free to share with me your (partial or full) gratitude moments in the comments; that way I can hold joy for you ✿ (you know that makes me happy to make you happy).

I hope your week was beautiful. What fills your Summer? Please, feel free to share your Gratitude in the comments and I will read them and cheer with you <3

This week, I am thankful for:

• “Fever Dream”, the new VERY awaited album from Of Monsters And Men is out today
• I had a day and a half off from work and was able to take a bath
• Time spent with my family
• My Cocotte (aka BFF of 16 years)
• Also, thankful for the productivity in the morning, working on Inner Voices before going to my day job
• Having a nice boss and colleague
• My 12yo daughter facing her fears and doing scary rides with her sister at La Ronde
• The meal my boss made for me (so good)
• Love
• Time spent in my art journals

The soundtrack for this week:

1. Literally feeling like I have a fire within, burning my bones and articulations. This is what fibromyalgia is like, most of the time; especially when in a flare-up. I use my arms a lot in my day job (and welcome back biceps!) so my shoulder blade and elbow are currently in flames… It’s not going away, even though my husband massages me with a specific oil every night. Maybe I need to accept that this will be my new normal?
2. I love riding my bike to work. It only takes me about 10 minutes to go from home to work and I will miss it once the weather becomes the yuck it is in the Fall (rain) and the winter (snow and ice). Bonus points to the fact that my butt is becoming quite nice looking and that it builds muscles in my legs.
3. I miss spending time with my husband. He leaves for work before 7 am in the morning, and I am home around 7 pm at night. I don’t have real weekends either so we actually are lucky if we have one full day out of seven together.
4. Art Journaling saves my sanity. So does my diary. Putting the feelings outside of my head is essential to my mental health. I know I should find a therapist but with my work schedule, I don’t even know when I could go… Maybe it will be easier once I have a small car, too. Maybe.
5. I am relieved that my anxiety level finally decided to go back to almost normal. It was out of control for 3 weeks and I thought that it would just be another “new normal”.
6. I’ve been eyeing “Fresh Paint” for a while, it’s an online class by Flora Bowley & Lynzee Lynx. I took an in-person workshop with Flora years ago, at Teesha Moore’s then Seattle Studio and it changed my perspective on my creative process. I’d love to learn from her again. But it’s like a big chunk of a week’s worth of my current salary 🙁
7. Makeup and Sacred Adornments are a big part of my identity. However, as I work in the food industry, the rule is no makeup, no piercings on the face, no jewelry… I feel like this is another version of myself and I don’t like it, at all… I don’t like how I look at my job. It’s not me.
8. Grief is a bitch and it’s not always about a person. I need to grief art as my career and it hurts like hell to accept my huge failure. I still believe that I could bring something to people’s lives with my art but I never “made it”. Therefore, my heart is shattered that I need to get a day job to pay our bills and debts instead of working from home as an artist. Right now, I would much rather work 12 hours a day as an artist, but it’s not happening. I am grateful for my current job position though, don’t get me wrong.