I started to write my Morning Pages again, even if I usually don't write them first thing in the morning (so how should I call these ? I should find it another name...) These 3 pages of free writing, without taking care of the meaning, of the form, of the potential mistakes helps me a lot to pull out thoughts off my head. And sometimes I cheat a little because I re-read despite the fact that Julia Cameron advises not to do so before a certain amount of time (7 weeks ? I have to check). I really do huge discoveries about myself, it brings stuff into focus; this exercice is really what I need currently and I'm glad I started it again (and don't blame myself anymore when I miss a day).
My Morning Pages paired with today's Connie's blogpost just made KABOOOOOOOOOOM in my mind.
Indeed, this week I noticed a pattern of thinking: why do I not share more my Art Journal pages ? And I finally understood why ! Here is partly what I wrote earlier this morning (it was in French so I translate):
My style is special because I am someone peculiar. I have my paradoxes. I am made of Darkness and of Light. Today, light predominates but it was not like this a few years ago; and sometimes Darkness takes over again. I drown into it, I'm like in a bubble filled with water, I move over the course of its flow but I stay grounded in the bottom. Until the day the bubble bursts as if nothing happened, and so I see the Light again. It's how I work. For a long time I fought and wanted to go against cuntercurrent of my life, chasing the Spleen and wanting absolutely to be somebody else. But it was vain because it's not the best. It was like I was fighting against windmill during a major tempest... I am affraid to let people see this dark side of me, whereas it now coexist nearly perfectly with my luminous side; they're in me side by side.
I longly hesitated before sharing these words with you but felt like it was something I had to do.
A lot of my pages are... weird. I love them mucho but because of the fear of being judged, of people thinking "she should be in a mental institute, she's totally depressed", I kept them all for myself and my very close circle. It's now time for me to share who I am with the World, and not who I think people would like me to be. I don't deny my paradoxes and my past anymore.
So I'll try to overcome this fear and to share more of who I am via my art journal pages :)
Again. Okay I know, it should have been blogged last Monday but.... better late than never !
1. Zen Charm bracelet, by The Zen Muse, 2. DSCF0180, 3. THINE and THOU, TOGETHER, 4. 09_03_10, 5. The Art collector , 6. Tree Owl Necklace, by The Zen Muse, 7. you can fly, 8. Awake, 9. IMG_2120_Frm3-10J_Love_Web
Colourful Softness. Trees, Zen, Love.
Looking for these deep emotions living in me, I sort of everything, I enjoy every moment and every experience. Center myself to discover me and share better.
I also feel the strange urge to adorn my body with what vibrate in me. I'm currently working on my next tattoo; the ideas are getting more precise. I don't know if I'll get it for my birthday (September 20th) or after, the date is not that important even if turning 25 is kind of huge for me; I have some jewelery cravings too.
I know myself more and more better and it does not feel as bad as what I thought...
Today, Jamie is also asking us (aka Wishcasters) what does wishcasting brings in our life. So I'll begin by answering this week's prompt, and then I'll answer about what do I wishcast the more often I can.
Today's question is What do you wish for less of ?
And my answer was instantaneous: I wish for less clutter in my life (and by consequence, in my mind).
I was really sad when I talked to my husband about Bindu Wiles' new project that will begin next week, called "the Shed project". The goal is to get rid of about 1/4 of your stuff, and shed 10 pounds, in two months. To build a community around this will to let go, and to clear our space and our mind.
My husband disagreed in me trying to do so. I understand completely is point of view "It makes me sick to throw away 1/4 of things we bought, for what we gave money for. Why did we bought this if it's to throw it away afterwards ?!!!?". BUT he's the first person to qualify my stuff as "your mess" (which upsets me... a lot). So what's the point ?! It's cluttering the house but because I paid for it, I can't get rid of it ? It makes me sad too, to think that it costes money and that it's just sitting there in a corner or whatever.
When we moved from France, we sold lots of our things, and we gave some, and of course, a lot goes directly to the trash. Clothes, cooking stuff, toys, books, decorations... people were happy to get them for less than what it would have costed "new", and we were happy not to have to bring them in Canada. Sometimes it was painful, because we attach importance to these material things. But it's only material, physical. We shouldn't care that much.
I am a compulsive art supply buyer. But i'm healing myself. yes I do. And it's the same with food: I am always affraid we don't have enough. I'm planning to sort all my supply, make some piles "use it a lot" "use it sometimes" "bought because it was trendy but I never use it". I may sell some, and giveaway the rest. Maybe people will have some use of it and it will make them happy (I love happy peoples).
Last week-end, we sorted our daughters' dresser, and have a big bag to give to the nearest thrift store. It feels good.
I wanted to get rid of some of my cookbooks (cooking is my first passion, then painting/creating came in my life) but Cheridoo is not that okay with it so I keep them all (about... 150 books only about cooking).
I feel the urge to clear my space. It's calling me for weeks now, but everytime i want to do so, an obstacle comes on my way...
On another note, I wish for less pounds in my body, less food intake. I don't want to talk much about it, but here too it's time to make some changes in my alimentation, and I'm beginning soon to work out again.
Sooooo in honour of her new big project (a 52-prompt Wishcasting Journal !!!!!!!!!), Jamie is asking to whom want to answer "What Wishcasting has meant to you".
For me, Wishcasting allows me to take time to think on a particular subject/area of my life. And to introspect, listening inside for answers. Some are very easy to find and comes as soon as I read the prompt, some are very difficult and need some time to dig deeper in me. Most of the time, Jamie's week prompt is in perfect timing with what i experience, and it's an amazement each time, as if she was in my Soul without knowing it.
Putting concrete words on feelings makes SUCH a difference. It's like an open letter to the Universe. And I experienced several time the love and support we all put in others' wishes is also something that makes a different, like a huge worldwide tribe of dreamers and wishers, united to change their life. The sentence "as X wishes for himself/herself, so I wish for himself/herself also" may sound cheesy, but trust me: it DOES make a difference.
I feel very thankful to know Jamie, and she makes me wanna jump on a plane to Toronto and hug her "for real". She inspires me, pushes me to go deeper and deeper, she's a positive bomb. And so are her projects such as Wishcasting Wednesday.
Time flies... Today, for Wishcasting Wednesday, Jamie asks us where do you wish to send some love ?
Love can have so many faces. The Love for our self, the Love for your family members (your parents, your kids...), the Love for your partner, the Love for your friends, the Love for your pet... and the Universal Love, Agape.
I wish to send love to my family. I love them so much... but being a mom is sometimes really really tough and I wish my daughters feel and know I love them way beyond what words can express, even if sometimes I'm mad had them because they don't listen and just do what they want.
I wish to send love to people who dislike me. Because I can't love everybody the same way, so I understand I can't please every single person in the world; I wish to send love to them too.
I wish to send love to people who think they are alone and that nobody loves them. Been there, done that. It's a feeling I wish to nobody, and we are all loved even when we don't feel like it.
And last but not least, I wish to send love to my Body as much as I surround my Soul with it. I am in discordance with my body for years, we struggle together. Even if I don't hate it anymore, it's still hard to face it as it is.
Bonus video: Sia performing her beautiful song "You Have Been Loved":
I was SO happy when Connie announced that everyone can now join her "30 Journals 30 Days" project.
Everyday, from July 1st to July 30rd, she gathered interviews of Art Journalers from all over the World. Some were beginners, other started a few months ago, and some do Art Journaling for years. This is what makes this project rich as it is. So many stories shared, so many different style, so many different reasons why people journal. It was something I was waiting for everyday this month.
I know I wasn't the only one that was not-so-secretly wishing to be a part of this project ;-)
SO if you want to join, you can ! Connie explains it all in her blogpost (linked earlier in this post). You can see the blogpost with all the links here: 30 Journals 30 Days: YOU.
- How long have you been Art Journaling ?
- How has Art Journaling impacted, changed, or enhanced your life ?
- What are a few of your favorite Art Journaling materials ?
- Who are some of your favorite Art Journalers ?
- What kind words of encouragement would you say to an Art Journal newbie ?
- Where can we contact you...give us some link LOVE !!
- Short Bio.
- Videos Starring Me:
I started my first journal on July 13rd 2008, so a little more than 2 years ago. But when I started it, I didn't think it was going to be very "arty" as my intention was to build a Creative Journal (I didn't know about "Art Journals" at that time, and there is a slim but existing difference between the two).
I have been keeping diaries since 1992, I was something like 7 or 8 years old when I received my first diary as a birthday present; you know, the colourful one with a tiny key. I have bunch of them, filled with thoughts on everyday life and more "profound" sometimes. I glued pictures, items etc so it was more visual. I am an over-thinker, I think so much that it often causes me insomnia (I wish I could have Dumbledore's Pensieve, trust me !) so pulling words out of my head onto the paper is an effective relief.
I never thought I was an artist, never. I was bad at school in the art class, even if it was a subject I liked and was interested in.
I never was able to draw a face, and still today: the faces I draw are everything but realistic. I take it as a "personal style" and not as a "weakness" thanks to my Journal.
In two years of art journaling, I gained self-confidence. About myself, about who I am, about who I want to become, even about my body.
It helped me setting goals. And it's the first tool I use on my Healing Path. In my life, Art Journaling goes hand in hand with my Spirituality.
Thanks to Art Journaling, I am becoming an even better ME.
Last Summer, I signed up at Emily Carr (which is Vancouver's institute of art + design) for a class about acrylic paint (like a 101 class) and learned they have what they call a certificate program: you pay a "entrance" fee, each class seperately when you take it, and you have 3 years to complete a list of precise classes + 48 hours of any other one(s), you have marked and at the end, if you passed everything, you get the certificate. It's a BIG deal for me.
And Art Journaling helps me to create bounds with wonderful people like anything else did.
I love gesso as it allow me to build great textures, acrylic paint is my "must have". I discovered Caran D'ache watersoluble crayons (Neocolor II) and I am in love with them ! My palette knives are also a tool I use frequently.
I love Teesha Moore work, it's so precise and her style is recognizable between thousands.
Lisa Sonora Beam speaks to my Soul, as if her journaling process was making echo somewhere in me (and I deeply suggest her book, if you don't already have it).
I wish I could hang out with Samantha Kira and journal outside or in a café together. Her videos on YouTube were more than helpful and I love her weekly vlog.
Connie because she makes it simple and intuitive and that's how I dream to journal: by stopping to overthink it and just enjoying the process.
All began for me thanks to Suzi Blu's YouTube channel two years ago.
Donna Downey for the freedom her art journaling inspires me (and I can't stop but hearing her saying "oooooh this makes me happy" in a giddy voice :D)
I am discovering a lot of awesome Art Journalers, it's like a big family from all over the World, too many to name them all without unpurposely forgetting someone.
I would like to say that we are ALL artists; it's just that often, we have a wrong idea of what being an artist really means.
Your journal is YOUR place, you can draw and write whatever you want. You don't have to eldulcorate your feelings in it. You don't have to feel this guilt. There is no "right" or "wrong" way of doing it; for example I love putting the date (even when it takes me longer to do and it's spread on several days) on every pages, so later I can remember it and see the evolution.
No need to buy expensive art supply, but you can if you want. The rule is simple: there is absolutely no rule in keeping an art journal. If you're affraid of the critique, keep it to yourself or chose wisely with whom you want to share.
The hardest part ? STARTING IT. But I warn you: nothing we'll be the same after you'd entered the Art Journaling world...
I am revamping my blog and am building a kind of website to "gather it all": inner-voices.net for the soon-to-be website.
http://inner-voices.net/blog for the english-speaking version of the blog. http://inner-voices.net/fr for the french-speaking version of the blog.
My YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/NolwennBC
I am a young woman born and raised in France during more than 23 years before becoming an expatriate with a husband and two young daughters, in Vancouver (Canada). I'll turn 25 next September and for me, this is huge and I'm very excited about it.
I was a very creative child but put it aside during teenagehood. I am an avid journaler, I've written diaries since I'm 7 or so and writing is really something I need to free my Soul.
I discovered Creative Journaling in 2008 when I was suggested a book by Anne-Marie Jobin (art-therapist from Québec, who is a huge journaler and help people through combining drawing & writing. It's slightly different that pure "art journaling" as it's a powerful healing tool, where the "art" part has no aim to be pretty or elaborate.
Art Journaling helped me discovering I am an artist, and I have messages to tell through it; so I also started painting outside the journal and fell into the Mixed Media universe.
I also want to help people through art, even if I still don't know exactly how at the moment. I know the Power of gratitude and try to help and inspire people thanks to it (that's why I started my weekly ritual called Gratitude Friday, where I invite people to join and share what they are thankful for each week. A lot of people come to me saying it helps them seeing the bright side of their life and that is changes everything. I am nurturing some projects in this way :)