The day job
Mid-June, I found myself a day job. I help to make food in a sushi/Thai comptoir (friends, help… don’t know what it’s called in english) inside one of our local supermarket. I gave my resume even though he was not hiring at the time (I missed my spot in the previous months, as he had just hired someone). It seems like the perfect job for me: it arrived a few hours after I prayed to the Universe to provide with a job that would be a bike ride away from home.
I got my driver’s license last November (2018) but I have not really driven since… We own a Grand Caravan (WTF) and I find it hard to park… I don’t know yet how I will do once Summer is gone and that rain/snow will make it impossible for me to use my bike to work. Maybe find a small car in leasing?
I am in an industry I like, but the job is hard on my fibro. I am 8+ hours standing every day, at least 5 days a week. My boss is really nice, so it helps but I don’t want him to know (yet?), afraid of being misjudged.
My creative path
I have less time for my creativity, that’s a truth. I come back home around 7 pm and don’t have a regular weekend of rest. My schedule is still a work in progress so I have to kind of force the time spent in my Studio.
However, there’s a good side to this: the time I spend in my Art Cave is even more precious. I put a lot into what I go in for. More than before. I still don’t really plan my art sessions though. I just want to make it impactful in my life.
When I am away from it, I think about what I’d like to create, but can’t. There is a sense of frustration building…
It’s like I failed after trying so hard for so long to share my passion with the world and make a living out of it. Working from home again is a goal I still have my eyes on. So I keep the art as a “side hustle” and will market my ass off to make it happen.
Family life
I don’t work 70+ hours a week, and it’s Summer Break until the end of August for both my daughters. It’s weird to know they are home alone most days. Especially when my days off are still wonky…
I miss spending more time with them, and with my husband. He leaves for work before 7 am every day, and I come back home at 7 pm every day… Exhausted.
How do I make it a time of quality?
I persist in that job partly because I want my daughters to be proud of their Mom. I know they say are already proud, but I was the Mom who was home for the past decade.
I hear you and am sending love. Life can be so complicated. I hope you find your rhythm soon. Xo
Thank you Amanda <3
Your posts are always very intimate and honest…I feel like I’m living a little slice of your life with you when I read them. I hear you re finding the balance and being on your feet 8+ hours a day sounds exhausting. I often work 10 hour shifts but they involve lots of walking around and, depending on the shift, quite a bit of down time so they sound less daunting than yours. Although your job sounds creative in its own way. Like you, I find that being away from creating my own work makes that time more precious. It actually pushes me to get things done. Sending love as you navigate this transition. <3
Thank you Sue. I am grateful for the job, but it makes me realize that I need to grieve the failure my art career is and it’s actually hard to swallow. Thank you for witnessing, and for sharing a bit of your own life with me.