Knock knock… is there still someone coming in my corner of the blogosphere ? I know my latest blogpost was, well, forever ago. If you know me, you know I try to be as transparent as possible, to keep it real with you guys, as much as possible. But sometimes, talking (or in this case, writing), is not easy. Because it means facing a difficult truth (or several). And that truth is…
I have not been myself. I am not recognizing the face looking back at me in the mirror. Most days, I feel lost and empty. This is not depression per se, I don’t think so, but my meds dosage has been changed and I see how it affects me right now.
I have been exploring abstract painting but still in that exploration phase I can’t wait to get out of. To know how to create what I have in mind with ease, to let go of the struggle I feel everytime I start a new project. This is what I am craving right now: ease.
I have to drag myself to the Art Cave (pss: Studio video tour coming soon !), some of the simplest tasks ask a lot of me because my body hurts (my hands for example) so my mind is overflowing with all these things I want to be doing and creating but when actually comes the moment to DO it, I can’t or won’t.
Plus, there is this feeling of being forgotten and transparent. It just fucking ego talk there, I am well aware of that. But it is one of these things that knowing unfortunately does not change anything about it.
I have been editing videos for a company I love the products from. Sketching Nixies (but not painting them). Playing with abstract paintings and the pouring method (you can check the first videos I made about it clicking right here) with no goal other than discovering and playing with colors. I believe I need to get lost to find my way again, often a way that was hidden or blurry.
I am slowly coming back, hopefully everything will get better and easier <3