For my entire life, I have heard people tell me “you feel too much“. Well, probably. But what can I do about it? I have learned early on my spiritual journey that it can be as much of a blessing than a curse.
My best friend and I often talk about our personal Essences. What makes us us, and how it often is an issue regarding others. And I noticed how, on a regular basis, I catch myself telling her “But this is what makes us Human, too”. It is easy to want to block it all; the pain, the doubts, the fear. And you want to be in on a secret? When I was 18, I did a ritual to shut every feeling off (it is called ataraxia, by the way): it did not resolve anything.
Damn, it fucking hurts to be Human!
I have lived inside my head for most of my life. Well, if I am really honest with myself, I still do.
Learning who I am. Figuring out what would make me better as a person; not necessarily for others but so I am more at peace with my psyche.
Making art helps me to makes sense of things. Of my emotions. Of events. I step in my ArtCave and tell to myself: today, let’s figure this shit out. And I will pick the color, the symbols, the textures that embody this specific thing.
Yes it sure does hurt to be human especially when we feel too much. I’m right there with you. I love the song too. Nice you can connect the colors and paint how you feel. Thank you for sharing YOU <3
Thank you Jean. I wish people who are not “overly sensitive” would cut us some slack and just let us be…
I hear you, Nolwenn. I think it’s very important to feel and to feel your feels and that those of us who do and can are ultimately much healthier despite the pain. My first husband got extremely depressed and felt nothing for while. Very sad even though it’s tempting to want the swirl of emotions to stop sometimes. I like that your art gives you a way to express your feelings, possibly sort them out. It is incredibly expressive. Thank you for being so openly you. <3
I hear you, love. Sending all my heart lifting mojo your way.