It is 6:28pm. My girls are loudly playing while in their bath, my husband is not home from work yet and my brother-in-law came back from his adventures not so long ago. Surprisingly, my daughters napped quite long today, and to be honest this is a good thing as I am a total mess being around.
I do not recognize the Nolwenn I used to be anymore, and it scares me. It makes me hate me.
I knew that fibromyalgia would change my life, would maybe change me. I don’t know if all is linked or not. I just know that I just don’t like feeling like I do because it does not look like me.
Body image issue is hitting me back in the face, when I did not expecting it at all.
I am moody, sometimes mean, I want to be alone (usually i am just happy to have my relatives around, now it is just too much).
I won’t spread the details, I am just not in that good place I used to experience, not finding this Inner Voice telling me that everything will be alright that I should not worry that much, that I should stop hating myself for what I am (or am not). Praying, begging for signs that do not come or that I do not see…
I just needed to create to shake things, hoping it would shift something.
Not finished yet but I wanted to share the words with you. Hoping it will speak to someone as well…