Today, I realized how much I do not live in the present. I am waaaay better at it than I used to, and in hindsight it almost was like I compulsively was either in the past or in the future but never in the present !
Recently talking with my best friend a few days ago and told her we both were the Melancolic Spleen kind of women and this was partly why we felt like we did not belong with others. I tend to relive the past, over and over, and wonder “what if…” all the time. There is no point doing that and it leaves me sad more than anything else.
Learning to let go
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It does not mean to forget what happens. To let go is to accept what used to be, and then move forward. I think a lot, introspect all the damn time, wonder, ponder, create various scenari about how something could have gone but did not.
I wish I could ask all the questions and get answers. But what would it change, would it bring closure ? Maybe not. Torture ? Sure.
How creativity helped me to let go
As I told you recently, I used to be a very prepared artist. Sketching, planning, overthinking. But then, a shift happened. Art journaling was my way to take any anger, any doubt and all these “what if-s” out of my system. Out of my head.
Creativity taught me not to get attached to the outcome. To love the process more than the end result. By doing that, it’s okay to let layers go. To move forward by knowing everything will turn out as it’s meant to.
Have you noticed how everything is intertwined ? How life and creativity mirror each other ?