At the end of 2018, I had this gut feeling telling me that 2019 would be a turning point in my life. That it would pretty much feel like Flight or Fight in many areas of it. And so far, this has been true… Many decisions to be taken, choices to be discussed. About the mundane and sometimes more life-altering.
Do you have a guiding word for 2019?
Being unapologetic in being me
This year, my husband decided that I will find my way back to my Self. And it comes to being outside how I feel inside.
I sometimes feel like I am schizophrenic because there are SO many sides of my personalities, sides that don’t necessarily make sense put together.
I have not straightened my hair for years now, wearing them au naturel instead. With the fibro, it’s very hurtful on my shoulders to keep up but that is part of me owning my heritage. However, sometimes I like actually being able to DO something with that mass of hair. My daughter spent 3 hours flat ironing my hair earlier this month; we put Queer Eyes on Netflix, chatted and laughed and I am very thankful for her asking me if she could do this for me.
I am also getting more unapologetic in the time my body and my soul need to rest, fully and deeply. It means being less productive in a way, but I realized that it’s a lie: I am more productive when I am rested.
Being unapologetic within my creative practice
Since the beginning of April, I started the 100 Day challenge and I have not painted a Nixie in a while. I sometimes feel like I am abandoning them but I know in my guts this is temporary. Nixies keep showing up in my mind but they want to come out as big as possible and right now, that’s just not an option… I don’t have the room for them. By the way, I have a lot of them coming in my new shop in the next few weeks but you can check my Etsy shop and my new shop already, maybe one is calling your name and you just don’t know it yet 😉
I love your word!
I find I feel like I apologize too much. For how I am, for who I am,
for the things I say or don’t, for the things I do or don’t.
It’s exhausting!
I keep saying the same phrase, I can’t fit in someone else’s box.
I cannot keep stuffing myself into someone else’s idea of who/what I should be.
I love that you are finding your way back to you. <3
Lisa, this is exactly why it was an evidence when this word presented itself to me at the end of last year. My husband, for the past 15 years, has been urging me to stop apologizing. I do it every day, for anything. So it struck me when he told me “how can we know when you apologize out of habit, or when you are sincerely and deeply sorry for something?”; that’s when I started wondering the reason behind the “I am sorry”-s I kept saying.
You are who you are, Lisa, and it’s time for people to accept that <3 I hope you will.
I love your word choice! I have been feeling very similar in so many ways. My words were healthy, whole, and valuable… I seem to always pick more than one. I also love the word/idea of liberation and have been dancing with that for a few years now, which feels quite similar to unapologetic to me.
oh I like that you have several words to focus on! And these three you picked are wonderful. “Liberation” is powerful!
Good for you, being unapologetic is a great focus. I’m so happy you are finding your way back to you
It is not an easy one but by talking with my friends etc, I realize how most of us should work on this more deeply.
It’s great to revisit the word of the year. Mine was Focus.
How is it helping you right now? It’s a great one too!
I love the word ‘unapologetic’. You look beautiful with your hair au naturel or straightened. <3
This word carried so much guilt for me, for a long time. Right now, I love it 😉 And thank you <3
I LOVE your natural hair and it straightened. I love that you are learning to be unapologetically yourself. So good! ?
It is a lesson hardly learned though. But I have this feeling than once it’s anchored in my roots, in my essence, it will last. Do I make sense?