The weather is grey and gloomy for what could be our first day of Summer Break…
Grenouille is doing yoga in the living room.
Koala is playing with her Barbies in her bedroom.
I am catching up on the lessons I have not watched yet from SoulFood Class.
I am thinking about what I want to do with my art, the directions I want to explore, the destinations I want to reach.
I am fighting a strong headache. For the 5th day in a row.
I just subscribe to a free psychology class from Yales that I will be able to listen to while working.
On this Full Rose Moon, I seek guidance to have a clearer vision regarding where I want to go.
On this Full Rose Moon, I seek connection with Kindred Souls. I seek to reinforce the Love and Friendship going on already, to strengthen the link between me and them.
On this Full Rose Moon, I become who I am meant to be.
On this Full Rose Moon, I will gather with my Sabbatical Sisters to celebrate.
On this Full Rose Moon, I surrender and accept it is out of my control.
On this Full Rose Moon, I expand my wings and my horizons.
And so it is.
My heart is pounding.
I feel like I can't really breathe.
I am scared.
Scared of being a fraud.
Scared of being a total failure.
Scared of not being a *real* artist because I don't exhibit/don't get published/don't sell much and so on.
Scared of not being seen for who I am.
Scared of being seen for exactly who I am.
Scared of being on the wrong path.
What to do now ?
My husband and my older daughter are both
very indecisive person. It can be quite annoying when they are unable to make a decision about simple things.
On the contrary, I am one who usually knows pretty well what I want, and my main is issue is finding the ways to get there *frustration is here again*.
As I type those words I am listening to Tam (aka Willowing) and Claudine Helmuth, they did an interview for Life Book. And it helps me to redefine what I want. Claudine suggests to start by making a list of what you love, and the reason(s) why. But for today, I really need to make a clear list of what I want, and doing it here for your eyes will help me feel accountable.
On this day,
- I want to Cultivate the Happy (if you’re interested, I’ll write a more detailed blogpost about what this means to me).
- I want surround myself with Joy.
- I want touch people with my art and its messages.
- I want record, write and put my first online class, Soul Songs, together so it is available at the beginning of Spring this year.
- I want sell more original paintings than prints of it.
- I want to tell my stories. In any way that comes to me.
- I want to spend more quality time with my girls.
- I want to get this forearm tattoo designed and inked so badly.
- I want to instore date nights in our schedule, so we can spend time as a couple, not just parents.
- I want to create create create. To expand the area of what I think I can do.
- I want to live in the Light.
- I want to learn again the power of gemstones. of plants. and use them.
- I want to be part of a Design Team for a brand I love, and showcase what I do with their products.
- I want to have the funds for signing up to Athena’s (aka The Sage Goddess) Pentacle membership.
- I want to send a package to Somerset Studio in hope to be published.
- I want to find my way back into loving my body for what it is (lost 10kgs/22lbs) in the past year, but still have 7kg/15 lbs more to go).
- I want to see Mindy Lacefield, Danielle Daniel and Lynda to hug them and spend time with them. And Valeri. And not forgetting my oversea friend Micki Wilde *I’ll come to you, my Hermit friend*
- I want to keep doing my Project Life album. To document what are everyday life looks like, the good and the bad. I want to do an album just about me, too. So my kids will know who I am/was.
- I want to surround myself with positivity, even if the Darkness that inhabits me sometimes has its use, too.
- I want to plan our trip back to France next year to celebrate milestones.
- I want purple hair. Maybe do some braids again.
- I want to learn the ukulele and keyboard.
- I want to be Happy.
(me this morning, wearing my Sunflower hat from Plants vs Zombie, under the snow)
Gratitude Friday is a weekly ritual I started in order to focus on all the small and big positive things that happened during my week. I invite you to join me, you'll see how much being thankful can change your life. If you want to know more about it, read my introduction post.
Welcome Friday !
Not sure there is a lot to say about this week. Ups. Downs. Repeat. Breathe in between (sometimes).
I’m typing while both my girls are picking at each others, my husband is on whatever screen of his it is, and I try to accept it is our life right at this moment and to be okay with it because I can change myself but not others. Big lesson indeed.
This week, I am thankful for:
- Sunshine when I go outside. Despite the freaking cold of this week, it’s always welcome.
- Art that keeps me sane.
- Good books (I finished Eleanor & Park and I’m back in The Mortal Instruments series with City Of Fallen Angels).
- Morning walks to start the day.
- KindredSisters, who listen to me vent without judging for one seconds.
- Goog snailmail.
- Mom arrives in less than a month now (which freaks me out as her room is far from being ready).
- Doctors, dentists.
- Writing to vent it all away.
- Songs, from my past, from my present.
- My husband
- My daughter Koala’s creativity.
If you wrote your Gratitude Friday on your blog, don't forget to enter your NAME and URL below so I'm notified and can come to read you (you can also join by commenting this post):