Sometimes, you just need to jot it all down without any specific order, just so it’s less in your brain. Here goes (#sorrynotsorry).
- I can’t wait to start working part-time instead of full-time. It was a compromise I have to take: either this or quit my current job completely
- Tuesday was not an official day off. But my entire arm is hurting like hell and I just couldn’t risk for it to get even worse. So I was home instead. And today (Thursday) is another intense pain day: I called my doc office for an appointment but nothing before October! Luckily I can consult with a doctor at my husband’s office this afternoon.
- I feel very (very) lonely. I do have my Soul Sisters but they are far away geographically. I need a covent nearby but why would people want to be my friend?
- I am working on a shop update while fighting a fierce combat with my inner demons. “Nobody cares about your artwork, don’t you know this by now” is what I hear. Pretty loudly.
- I envy artists who are killing it and making a living from their work. But I’m gonna work my ass off each time I’m off from the day job. I believe in what I create. I just hope somebody else does, too.
- I feel lucky that my boss regularly gives me food to come home with instead of putting it the trash because the expiration date is today. I actually love the food we make.
- I’m fucking angry at my body. And at my kind too, by the way. For feeding me lies. For not being strong enough to be “normal”.
- It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m always excited about it. I finally learned to ask for what I need. I love offering gifts, and to be honest I also love receiving them. (If you feel inclined, I have a tip jar where I use the money towards art supplies).
- I am loving the changing relationships with my daughters. We laugh, we cry, we sing and dance. But the most important is that I know they trust me for the deep shit too and it means the world to me.
- I love it when my Brother-in-law is here for his annual visit. He’s the only one who came every.single.fucking.year since our immigration to Canada.