Some videos are harder to create and even harder to share than others. For me, this is one of them. Sharing about me, about bits and pieces of my stories as a bi-racial woman of colour is not something I talk about easily or often. But with what’s currently going on in the World, I felt awful not to address it at all. Because… sometimes, silence is compliance, right?
Here’s the video:
I have been working on this for quite a long time. It took more than a month from the moment I knew I had to do something to the moment I completed the page. Yup… I had to make my voice heart. Even just for me, because crying every day helps, but not for long.
If you follow me on Instagram, you might remember me posting a sketch of the drawing at the beginning of June. Then, it took me two weeks to actually stop avoiding going further in the project and paint it… Because when your heart is aching so bad, it does not matter if you know what you need to do. It just seems impossible. And I accept that today: the need for time to process emotions and thoughts.
I am bi-racial and am myself in a bi-racial marriage. I am a woman of colour and my husband is White, which resulted in a funny blend when it comes to our daughters’ skin tones (I have shared pictures of them in the video). All my life, I have been told stuff that left me without a sense of belonging, without that deep knowledge of being enough. Too white, too black, not enough of anything. This leaves scars and wounds I am now tending as an almost 35 years old.
Before you speak, always wonder “could this hurtful?” because words can destroy more than a punch in the guts…